So today I had a BRILLIANT idea(truth be told, I have brilliant ideas everyday, but I thought this one deserved mentioning). I decided to record some of my singing practice for voice lessons.
Unfortunately(or fortunately, I suppose, depending on how you look at it), this led to me discovering that I'm one of those people. You know the people who go on American Idol and yell at the judges and tell them that their family and friends love to hear them sing and the judges are just stupid and wouldn't talent if it spit in their face? Yup. I'm one of those people. Apparently, all these years people have been too afraid of my delicate self-esteem or some crap like that and have been artificially promoting my singing "talent". Somehow you even got Weber State in on it because they offered me a vocal scholarship and were going to let me be a Vocal Performance major! Seriously, folks! You weren't doing me any favors.
Yes. I did read that and realize that it's the ranting of a crazy woman. Fine. It's not THAT bad. Although, I am beginning to understand why I am not being cast and why I was cast as a silent horse in my last show.
You know what?! Just let me cry a little and have my freaking pity party! I'm surrounded by incredibly talented friends! And what I just listened to today with the help of my iPhone recording App(my iPhone is my only true friend), was NOT acceptable. My poor roommate who has been home listening to me this afternoon(well, I assume she made it through the practice session...I should go see if she left...or worse...died)!
No more brilliant ideas. Espeically not ones that involve me recording and listening to myself sing. Yes. I've already deleted the recordings. Now I have to go curl up in the corner and die a little. This is not helping my New Years resolution to sing in front of people I know. Maybe I just need to know more deaf people...
I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Gratitude Day 69
Today, I'm particularly grateful for my piano. It's not the prettiest piano. It's not the greatest sounding piano. But it's prefectly(nearly) functional. It does what I need it to anyway. And it's compact. I brought it back to the apartment today from its temporary housing at Angie's. I'm so excited to have easy access to my piano! It makes me sooooo happy! Hopefully my roommates won't regret telling me to bring it here... :)
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Spontaneous Combustion
That Post Title seems a little intense, doesn't it? No worries. I'm not as worried about spontaneously combusting as I once was(it's not like I actually thought I would, it's just the way I would refer to my stress level).
I wish I were more spontaneous. I'm such a planner. I like my calendar. I like to know what's going on in my life, weeks in advance even. I don't like last minute invites to parties. Part of that is because I get anxious in certain social situations and I like to have time to prepare myself(Yes I am aware that I'm a crazy person). The other part is that I think it's rude for people to assume that I have nothing else going on so they can wait so long to extend an invite(yes I am aware that I'm boring and usually have nothing going on...but someday I might).
I love to take trips, but I don't know that I could just throw a change of underwear in the car and drive off to the unknown. It sounds very adventurous and exciting, doesn't it? Yeah, apparently I'm not adventurous or exciting. Maybe under the right circumstances. Then again, I'm the person who makes Excel spreadsheets to decide what vacation to go on and who to book through and where to stop for gas.
I'm very thorough and think things through. Over Analyze? Me? Never! Oh wait...no I do that EVERYDAY!
Also, I'm not nearly decisive enough (particularly in the moment) to be spontaneous. I'd think of it, and then think about it and then analyze it and then almost decide to do it and then talk myself out of it and then three days later, after everything is in place, go through with it. Laugh all you want, this has happened to me SO MANY TIMES.
I'm totally spontaneous....as long as you give me enough time to plan for it.
Anyway, so I need some suggestions. Ways to be more spontaneous. Not reckless. Spontaneous. Because spontaneous people are fun people. And I should be a fun person.
I wish I were more spontaneous. I'm such a planner. I like my calendar. I like to know what's going on in my life, weeks in advance even. I don't like last minute invites to parties. Part of that is because I get anxious in certain social situations and I like to have time to prepare myself(Yes I am aware that I'm a crazy person). The other part is that I think it's rude for people to assume that I have nothing else going on so they can wait so long to extend an invite(yes I am aware that I'm boring and usually have nothing going on...but someday I might).
I love to take trips, but I don't know that I could just throw a change of underwear in the car and drive off to the unknown. It sounds very adventurous and exciting, doesn't it? Yeah, apparently I'm not adventurous or exciting. Maybe under the right circumstances. Then again, I'm the person who makes Excel spreadsheets to decide what vacation to go on and who to book through and where to stop for gas.
I'm very thorough and think things through. Over Analyze? Me? Never! Oh wait...no I do that EVERYDAY!
Also, I'm not nearly decisive enough (particularly in the moment) to be spontaneous. I'd think of it, and then think about it and then analyze it and then almost decide to do it and then talk myself out of it and then three days later, after everything is in place, go through with it. Laugh all you want, this has happened to me SO MANY TIMES.
I'm totally spontaneous....as long as you give me enough time to plan for it.
Anyway, so I need some suggestions. Ways to be more spontaneous. Not reckless. Spontaneous. Because spontaneous people are fun people. And I should be a fun person.
Gratitude Day 68
I'm grateful we have a washer/dryer in our apartment. Seriously so glad I don't have to haul all my dirty laundry to the laundromat (AKA my mom's house) and then back again when it's clean. Particularly on days like today where the weather is less than desireable and it's likely I would end up slipping and dropping my newly washed clothes in a snowy street. Plus, this way I can multi-task and try to get my life organized WHILST I wash my clothes. YAY!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Gratitude Day 67
I'm grateful for Michael Buble. Seriously, I may not have been able to get up and ready this morning without him.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
2012 Will Be Life Changing
Actually, I feel like it's already been pretty life-changing. A new apartment, new roommates, new job...new, new, new(that word looks weird when I type it over and over again). Of course, in a few short weeks (22 days), I'll file the final divorce papers and a whole bunch more NEW things can happen(yes, I'm ready for that).
Obviously a lot of new changes will happen due to my situation in life. But, as per tradition, I feel obligated to make a few adjustments to myself in an effort to become a better person(or some crap like that).
#1) This is a BIG one: STOP HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY iPHONE AND HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE. It's my own fault, I know. My contract on my iPhone is up the end of June. I'm hoping I'll be strong enough to leave smart phones behind. I love that I have access to email and facebook and other stuff...but I also hate it. And I let it distract me from important things and people.
#2) BUILD SOME MUSCLE. I don't want to become a body builder or anything(so gross). But I do want(need) to put some weight on and the healthy way is with muscle. I was actually just figuring out a little workout routine when I got sick(happens every time, I swear). So after I recover, it's back to getting fit.
#3) STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. I didn't used to care so much. It's really frustrating to me that now I do.
#4) SING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I KNOW. Seriously. I don't get nervous at auditions or on stage. But I hate singing in front of friends and even family. Especially my talented friends. I won't even sing in the car with most people. It's not that I get nervous, I'm just certain that they are going to tell me not to sing anymore(I've been asked not to sing, so it's not unprecedented).
Just a few little self improvement things. I'll keep you posted on the progress.
Obviously a lot of new changes will happen due to my situation in life. But, as per tradition, I feel obligated to make a few adjustments to myself in an effort to become a better person(or some crap like that).
#1) This is a BIG one: STOP HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY iPHONE AND HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE. It's my own fault, I know. My contract on my iPhone is up the end of June. I'm hoping I'll be strong enough to leave smart phones behind. I love that I have access to email and facebook and other stuff...but I also hate it. And I let it distract me from important things and people.
#2) BUILD SOME MUSCLE. I don't want to become a body builder or anything(so gross). But I do want(need) to put some weight on and the healthy way is with muscle. I was actually just figuring out a little workout routine when I got sick(happens every time, I swear). So after I recover, it's back to getting fit.
#3) STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. I didn't used to care so much. It's really frustrating to me that now I do.
#4) SING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I KNOW. Seriously. I don't get nervous at auditions or on stage. But I hate singing in front of friends and even family. Especially my talented friends. I won't even sing in the car with most people. It's not that I get nervous, I'm just certain that they are going to tell me not to sing anymore(I've been asked not to sing, so it's not unprecedented).
Just a few little self improvement things. I'll keep you posted on the progress.
Gratitude Day 66
Today I'm grateful for toilets.
Sounds weird, I know. But you spend the day with your toilets out of commission because new flooring is being laid and let me know how grateful you are for access to a toilet.
Sounds weird, I know. But you spend the day with your toilets out of commission because new flooring is being laid and let me know how grateful you are for access to a toilet.
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