But really, it's just a matter of time. And it's probably a pretty short time.
Let me outline a typical week...
Monday
6:00 am get up and get ready (if I don't beat the roommate to the bathroom, I don't get to use it at all. If ever I go to prison for something, it will likely be for murdering her)
7:30 am- Leave the house and drive to The DATC
8:00 am- Class starts. Right now I'm working on memorizing my medications. They're broken down into lists. I've taken 3 tests and there are 7 total. I try to take a test every day I'm there. So far, so good.
11:00 am- Lunch break. If I've taken and passed my test for the day, I usually leave here. Otherwise...
NOON- Class starts again.
3:00 pm- class ends and I drive home or run errands.
3:30-6:30- This is my time to take care of things at home. But usually, I start memorizing my next set of medications and try to squeeze in grocery shopping (or at least run to my mom's house for the basic supplies I need) and occasionally, I find the energy to clean the bathroom or my bedroom or the kitchen. It depends on how absolutely filthy things have gotten too. And I have to review things for the show and practice anything I need to play at the U. And practice anything I'm working on vocally. AND I have to get ready for rehearsal.
7:00-10:00 pm- Rehearsal
10:30 pm- I usually get home around this time. I get in my pajamas, I gather everything up for the next day and climb into bed hoping that my brain will turn off before midnight so I can get as much sleep as possible. It doesn't usually work that way.
Tuesday
6:00 am- get up and get ready
7:30 am- Leave the house to meet Cecily at her mom's so we can carpool to the U.
8:30 am- First private lesson at the U. We're usually there early to set up the classroom and make sure we have everything ready to go for class.
9-Noon- Our classes end at noon. We get a 1 hour break for lunch and to walk down to the West Institute so we can teach the rest of the private lessons in the afternoon.
3:30 pm- Lessons start in Centerville, so we leave from the U as soon as the last student is done and we rush to Centerville to teach some more lessons. Cecily actually has student until 8:00 pm. But I have rehearsal right now, so I'm leaving around 6:30 so I can grab something to eat and run to the theater.
7:00 - 10:00 - Rehearsal
10:30 pm- Bedtime routine
Wednesday
Very similar to Monday, except that now I have another teach at the U I'm playing for. So from 3:30-6:15 I play for those lessons. Yep. And then I have to cruise to Centerville for rehearsal. Awesome.
Thursday
Same schedule as Tuesday, except that we don't teach private lessons in Centerville on Thursdays. So Thursday afternoons are like Monday afternoons where I frantically try to get things done.
Friday
Same as Mondays
Saturday
6:30 am- ooh! I get to sleep in for 30 extra minutes. I get up this early to make sure I'm up and my body and voice are awake for rehearsal.
8:30 am- Cast Zumba
9:00 am- 1:00 pm- Rehearsal
After rehearsal, I get to scramble to try to accomplish things I wasn't able to get to during the week. Or maybe I try to check in with family members so they know I'm still alive. And on occasion, I attempt to have a social life. But who has the time?
Sunday
Should be the day of rest, but with choir practice and 9 and then the regular church block, plus the fact that I have zero time to get laundry and other things done, Sunday is just a slightly less busy version of any other day of the week. I hate it, but that's the necessity.
There you have it. You're shocked I'm not dead yet. And we're coming up to the point in rehearsal where we go extra late as we try to clean things up and prepare for the show to open (October 8th! Get your tickets ASAP).
Now I'm going to fall into a deep slumber. And in 7 hours, I'll start another day. Ugh. I'm too old for this.
I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
My Brain is Full of Snot
My allergies have struck again. And my sinuses feel like they might explode. But I also feel like I should blog. I'm gonna warn you, this is probably not going to be super coherent.
Sudafed really works well to decongest me. However....an unfortunate side effect, for me anyway, is that it wires my brain. Honestly I could be dead exhausted and still not be able to sleep while on Sudafed. Unfortunately, I can't sleep without Sudafed right now. Not really a great situation, huh? I figure I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. And it was not good sleep.
But it's all good. I only had a 15+ hour day. Nothing like leaving the house at 7:30 am and not getting home until 10:30. And by about hour 8 of piano playing, I can't tell sharps from flats and time signatures are more like guidelines than rules (SIDE NOTE: 5/8 time....really Andrew Lloyd Webber?! Really?!)
I have the worst sinus headache EVER right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to function. It's only Tuesday kids! I wanted to be finished with 3 medications test by the end of this week. I'm thinking that's probably not going to happen. Not okay.
You know how everyone has that breaking point? Yep. I'm getting close to mine. I can feel it. And the allergy thing isn't helping.
Oh! About the allergies. Apparently our house has been operating with out a furnace filter. So pretty much all kinds of dirt, dust and debris have been flying around our house, unchecked. No wonder I haven't been able to breathe most mornings.
I almost broke down 3 different times in rehearsal today. I'm not sure if it's stress, or the allergies, or the lack of sleep...probably a combination.
Also, I'm trying really hard not to think about what was happening in my life a year ago. I mean, it's unavoidable really. It's part of my history; part of who I am. But since we're coming up on the year mark, it's getting a little more focus than I'd really like it to have.
And I actually think it's worse that I'm doing another show this time of year. It's like things have come full circle.
Have I mentioned how much my sinuses hurt?
If I thought punching people in the face would solve problems, I'd be punching A LOT of people. But, my parents taught me not to hit. Not only that, but they taught me to be nice, even to the people I want to punch in the face. Man! Parents ruin all the fun!
I need some absolutely irresponsible crazy fun time. Anyone have suggestions?
Remember how I'm turning 30 soon? Yep. I definitely remember.
I'm sitting here thinking about when I can schedule a nervous/emotional breakdown. Yeah...that's just not going to happen anytime soon. I just don't have time for it. That should be healthy. I'll just keep holding it all in until I have the time to let it erupt. It's gonna be a doozy. Especially if I can't schedule it in until closer to the holiday season when I'm done with the show. That should be GOOD.
If I thought banging my head against the wall would make me less frustrated, I'd walk around banging my head against walls everywhere I go. My parents didn't teach me not to bang my head against walls....so sometimes I try it...just to see if it'll finally make all my problems go away. It hasn't yet. I'll keep you posted.
Life could always be worse. I just have to keep telling myself. Cecily and I were talking on the way in to the University of Utah this morning and as much as life sometimes sucks, things could always be worse. I'm very blessed. I have a job I love. I mean, really. I get to play the piano. And people pay me for it. If that's not living the dream, I'm not sure what is. I have a great family who is always there for me, no matter what. I have amazing friends who somehow find time in their busy lives to put up with my craziness. I really do like studying Pharmacy Technician stuff (even though I'm terrified I'm going to give someone the wrong medication and kill them). I'm healthy (allergies aside). I have nieces and a nephew who love me unconditionally. And an amazing sister and sister-in-law who don't mind letting me share a little of my mothering with their kidlets. And while there are a lot of things about my life I hope change soon(ish), I know I'm far better off now than I was a year ago in my previous situation. But somedays, it's hard to remember that.
And honestly, when my brain is this full of snot, it's hard to do anything but want to drill a hole in my head and drain it. Don't worry. I won't.
Sudafed really works well to decongest me. However....an unfortunate side effect, for me anyway, is that it wires my brain. Honestly I could be dead exhausted and still not be able to sleep while on Sudafed. Unfortunately, I can't sleep without Sudafed right now. Not really a great situation, huh? I figure I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. And it was not good sleep.
But it's all good. I only had a 15+ hour day. Nothing like leaving the house at 7:30 am and not getting home until 10:30. And by about hour 8 of piano playing, I can't tell sharps from flats and time signatures are more like guidelines than rules (SIDE NOTE: 5/8 time....really Andrew Lloyd Webber?! Really?!)
I have the worst sinus headache EVER right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to function. It's only Tuesday kids! I wanted to be finished with 3 medications test by the end of this week. I'm thinking that's probably not going to happen. Not okay.
You know how everyone has that breaking point? Yep. I'm getting close to mine. I can feel it. And the allergy thing isn't helping.
Oh! About the allergies. Apparently our house has been operating with out a furnace filter. So pretty much all kinds of dirt, dust and debris have been flying around our house, unchecked. No wonder I haven't been able to breathe most mornings.
I almost broke down 3 different times in rehearsal today. I'm not sure if it's stress, or the allergies, or the lack of sleep...probably a combination.
Also, I'm trying really hard not to think about what was happening in my life a year ago. I mean, it's unavoidable really. It's part of my history; part of who I am. But since we're coming up on the year mark, it's getting a little more focus than I'd really like it to have.
And I actually think it's worse that I'm doing another show this time of year. It's like things have come full circle.
Have I mentioned how much my sinuses hurt?
If I thought punching people in the face would solve problems, I'd be punching A LOT of people. But, my parents taught me not to hit. Not only that, but they taught me to be nice, even to the people I want to punch in the face. Man! Parents ruin all the fun!
I need some absolutely irresponsible crazy fun time. Anyone have suggestions?
Remember how I'm turning 30 soon? Yep. I definitely remember.
I'm sitting here thinking about when I can schedule a nervous/emotional breakdown. Yeah...that's just not going to happen anytime soon. I just don't have time for it. That should be healthy. I'll just keep holding it all in until I have the time to let it erupt. It's gonna be a doozy. Especially if I can't schedule it in until closer to the holiday season when I'm done with the show. That should be GOOD.
If I thought banging my head against the wall would make me less frustrated, I'd walk around banging my head against walls everywhere I go. My parents didn't teach me not to bang my head against walls....so sometimes I try it...just to see if it'll finally make all my problems go away. It hasn't yet. I'll keep you posted.
Life could always be worse. I just have to keep telling myself. Cecily and I were talking on the way in to the University of Utah this morning and as much as life sometimes sucks, things could always be worse. I'm very blessed. I have a job I love. I mean, really. I get to play the piano. And people pay me for it. If that's not living the dream, I'm not sure what is. I have a great family who is always there for me, no matter what. I have amazing friends who somehow find time in their busy lives to put up with my craziness. I really do like studying Pharmacy Technician stuff (even though I'm terrified I'm going to give someone the wrong medication and kill them). I'm healthy (allergies aside). I have nieces and a nephew who love me unconditionally. And an amazing sister and sister-in-law who don't mind letting me share a little of my mothering with their kidlets. And while there are a lot of things about my life I hope change soon(ish), I know I'm far better off now than I was a year ago in my previous situation. But somedays, it's hard to remember that.
And honestly, when my brain is this full of snot, it's hard to do anything but want to drill a hole in my head and drain it. Don't worry. I won't.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Unbalanced
You or your life might be unbalanced if...
The only time you can fit in grocery shopping is 10:30 at night. (as a side note: Walmart that late at night is not okay...even in Centerville, UT)
Anytime you're in the same room with your roommate, Madame Guillotine starts playing in your head.
You get a text from your sister-in-law about your nephew just staring at a picture of you and that meaning he really loves Aunt Wendi...and you burst into tears.
You put your shoes on the wrong feet.
You've lost the will to clean. (okay, this is probably only a sign if you're me)
You obsessively color-code your medications flashcards.(let's be honest, I'm always a little unbalanced)
You dream about punching people in the face.
You consider taking up hand-to-hand combat as a form of therapy.
You eat a whole sandwich, a salad, half a baguette and a slice of chocolate cake for lunch and think, "I should have another slice of cake".
You stay up at night writing pointless blog posts when you should be sleeping because you have to get up early for pre-rehearsal Zumba. (I love pre-rehearsal Zumba...it's almost enough to be therapeutic...almost)
The only time you can fit in grocery shopping is 10:30 at night. (as a side note: Walmart that late at night is not okay...even in Centerville, UT)
Anytime you're in the same room with your roommate, Madame Guillotine starts playing in your head.
You get a text from your sister-in-law about your nephew just staring at a picture of you and that meaning he really loves Aunt Wendi...and you burst into tears.
You put your shoes on the wrong feet.
You've lost the will to clean. (okay, this is probably only a sign if you're me)
You obsessively color-code your medications flashcards.(let's be honest, I'm always a little unbalanced)
You dream about punching people in the face.
You consider taking up hand-to-hand combat as a form of therapy.
You eat a whole sandwich, a salad, half a baguette and a slice of chocolate cake for lunch and think, "I should have another slice of cake".
You stay up at night writing pointless blog posts when you should be sleeping because you have to get up early for pre-rehearsal Zumba. (I love pre-rehearsal Zumba...it's almost enough to be therapeutic...almost)
This is What I Want
I want people to use their words. I'm not a mind reader folks. If you want something, say it.
I want people to do what they say they're going to do. Is commitment really such a difficult concept?
I want people to be on time. That means ON TIME not 5 minutes later.
I want people to accept responsibility for their actions. If I have to, why doesn't everyone?
I want people to accept each other's opinions. ESPECIALLY if they're differing. That doesn't mean you have to like it, it just means you have to play nicely! I'm pretty sure this is Kindergarten 101, kids. Which leads me to...
I want people to stop finding reasons to argue. We should be searching for ways NOT to argue.
I want people to understand that work is part of life. Newsflash! It's not easy folks! Life, that is. In fact, it's frequently quite difficult. And that means you're going to have to grow a pair and do something to make what you want happen. It's not just going to happen because you want it to.
I want people to stop using Facebook. I was going to put "stop using Facebook for *insert specific annoying thing here*" But I think we'd all be better off if we just stopped using Facebook. Who's with me?! *crickets* Yep. That's what I thought.
I want people to stop being selfish.
I want people to use their brains.
I want people to be grateful for the good things they have.
I want people to realize their potential.
I want people to stop taking loved ones for granted.
I want people to stop trying to make their lives SO difficult. Life is hard, but you don't need to make it worse.
As soon as I figure out how to get all these things, you can elect me President of the World. Until then, consider this my birthday list. Choose an item and make it happen for an entire day.
I want people to do what they say they're going to do. Is commitment really such a difficult concept?
I want people to be on time. That means ON TIME not 5 minutes later.
I want people to accept responsibility for their actions. If I have to, why doesn't everyone?
I want people to accept each other's opinions. ESPECIALLY if they're differing. That doesn't mean you have to like it, it just means you have to play nicely! I'm pretty sure this is Kindergarten 101, kids. Which leads me to...
I want people to stop finding reasons to argue. We should be searching for ways NOT to argue.
I want people to understand that work is part of life. Newsflash! It's not easy folks! Life, that is. In fact, it's frequently quite difficult. And that means you're going to have to grow a pair and do something to make what you want happen. It's not just going to happen because you want it to.
I want people to stop using Facebook. I was going to put "stop using Facebook for *insert specific annoying thing here*" But I think we'd all be better off if we just stopped using Facebook. Who's with me?! *crickets* Yep. That's what I thought.
I want people to stop being selfish.
I want people to use their brains.
I want people to be grateful for the good things they have.
I want people to realize their potential.
I want people to stop taking loved ones for granted.
I want people to stop trying to make their lives SO difficult. Life is hard, but you don't need to make it worse.
As soon as I figure out how to get all these things, you can elect me President of the World. Until then, consider this my birthday list. Choose an item and make it happen for an entire day.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Give Me a Reason
I was talking to a couple cast mates the other night about what shows they're looking at doing next season. And they both said that they felt like they needed to take some time off from shows and spend more time with their family. They seemed kind of sad about it.
And I couldn't help but thinking, "I wish I had a reason not to do shows." Yes I like singing. Yes I like dancing. Yes I like performing and rehearsing and all that fun.
BUT if I had to make the choice between staying at home with kids and a husband and doing shows, I wouldn't even hesitate. Not for a moment.
I don't know, I'm sure that doesn't surprise most of you. After all, it's all I've ever really wanted, you know? I'm sure there's a few of you who can't believe I could make the decision so easily. And sure maybe someday, if I have kids, we'll do a show together. But mostly, I just don't care enough about being in a show to do it instead of being with kids that I've waited so long for.
I know that everyone's situation is different. And I think, for me, it's one of those situations where I know that one day I'll be faced with that decision and it might be a show I REALLY love and if I make the decision now, (like making the decision not to do drugs before they're ever offered to you) it will be easier to make the decision later.
Maybe I'm just crazy. But while they were lamenting the break that they were going to take, I just kept looking at them thinking, "Give me that reason and I'd give it up tomorrow."
And I couldn't help but thinking, "I wish I had a reason not to do shows." Yes I like singing. Yes I like dancing. Yes I like performing and rehearsing and all that fun.
BUT if I had to make the choice between staying at home with kids and a husband and doing shows, I wouldn't even hesitate. Not for a moment.
I don't know, I'm sure that doesn't surprise most of you. After all, it's all I've ever really wanted, you know? I'm sure there's a few of you who can't believe I could make the decision so easily. And sure maybe someday, if I have kids, we'll do a show together. But mostly, I just don't care enough about being in a show to do it instead of being with kids that I've waited so long for.
I know that everyone's situation is different. And I think, for me, it's one of those situations where I know that one day I'll be faced with that decision and it might be a show I REALLY love and if I make the decision now, (like making the decision not to do drugs before they're ever offered to you) it will be easier to make the decision later.
Maybe I'm just crazy. But while they were lamenting the break that they were going to take, I just kept looking at them thinking, "Give me that reason and I'd give it up tomorrow."
I Have a Sickness
I over-book myself. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy. I like having things to do. I like helping people with their things to do. But sometimes, I have a tendency to take on too many projects. I make my "To Do List" unmanageable. I not only take on my tasks, but I let others pile on more.
And everyone has a breaking point. And I feel mine approaching.
Truth be told, it's my own fault. I'm familiar with the cycle. And if I just said no, I wouldn't have these problems. Or if I spread out my own projects so they didn't land all in the same time period, that would be really swell. Unfortunately I don't appear to have a ton of control over when everything happens in life, but still, I could try harder to balance things.
And yes this is all bubbling up right now because I'm spending less than 3 hours a day at home (sleep not included). And some days it's not even 3 hours.
Ugh. And I need more human contact. And by human contact, I mean with people I like. The people at the DATC do not count. And yes I'm doing a show...but it's just not the same as seeing my friends. I need social interaction with people I don't want to punch in the face (or at least like enough to ignore the impulse).
Okay. I'm done whining about this now.
And everyone has a breaking point. And I feel mine approaching.
Truth be told, it's my own fault. I'm familiar with the cycle. And if I just said no, I wouldn't have these problems. Or if I spread out my own projects so they didn't land all in the same time period, that would be really swell. Unfortunately I don't appear to have a ton of control over when everything happens in life, but still, I could try harder to balance things.
And yes this is all bubbling up right now because I'm spending less than 3 hours a day at home (sleep not included). And some days it's not even 3 hours.
Ugh. And I need more human contact. And by human contact, I mean with people I like. The people at the DATC do not count. And yes I'm doing a show...but it's just not the same as seeing my friends. I need social interaction with people I don't want to punch in the face (or at least like enough to ignore the impulse).
Okay. I'm done whining about this now.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Because I'm Just That Awesome
Today, I took 3 tests. Don't worry. I got 100% on all of them. And just because I know someone out there is scoffing "They must have been REALLY easy".... They weren't. It was my Pharmacology and the Human Body class. I took the Anatomy test last week - 5 Chapters of information and I only missed 2, so suck it! And I decided that I wanted to be DONE with this class(that and I didn't have a whole lot going on this weekend so I had loads of time to study...but I'm trying not to dwell on that). So I took a test today on Pharmacology and Pharmacokinetics and a test on Pharmacy Math (it was a big fat nightmare of a review of basically everything I learned in that math class I took a month ago) and the Final for the class.
And now I only have 200 medications to memorize and test on and a Lab class and then I can do my Externship. Yes. I'm running WAY ahead of schedule. But that's fine.
Now I have to start deciding what I want to do for my Externship. Retail Pharmacy or Hospital Pharmacy. The Instructor and Assistant Instructor have both only worked at Retail Pharmacies, so they aren't a lot of help in providing me with insight into the other. So I'm going to have to do some research. AND in the long term, where do I want to work? I have a feeling I'll use more of the math at a Hospital. And I am really good at the math portion (if I do say so myself).
But I just don't know. In the meantime, I get to make 200 flashcards and carry them around with me everywhere I go.
Aren't you all jealous?
And now I only have 200 medications to memorize and test on and a Lab class and then I can do my Externship. Yes. I'm running WAY ahead of schedule. But that's fine.
Now I have to start deciding what I want to do for my Externship. Retail Pharmacy or Hospital Pharmacy. The Instructor and Assistant Instructor have both only worked at Retail Pharmacies, so they aren't a lot of help in providing me with insight into the other. So I'm going to have to do some research. AND in the long term, where do I want to work? I have a feeling I'll use more of the math at a Hospital. And I am really good at the math portion (if I do say so myself).
But I just don't know. In the meantime, I get to make 200 flashcards and carry them around with me everywhere I go.
Aren't you all jealous?
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