Cupcake Wars

Back when I had cable, I love Loved LOVED watching Food Network.  Seriously I could watch it for hours.  I secretly want to have my own Food Network show.  Actually, I've loved cooking shows every since I was young.  I used to watch Yen Can Cook on PBS.  Yes.  I was a super cool child. 

Anyway, one of the shows on Food Network is called Cupcake Wars.  They have the owners of various cupcake establishments compete for monies and prestige and for the opportunity to have their cupcakes featured at some big fancy-schmancy party, which is always themed.  I've been having a little bit of Food Network withdrawal as of late. 

So Monday, being Memorial Day, I had a family picnic.  I decided I would make Red Velvet cupcakes(one of my personal favorite kinds of cupcakes) and some Oreo cupcakes.

And yes.  I made them from scratch. Overall I was fairly pleased with the results.  Although, next time around, I have a few adjustments to make to each recipe. 

Today, I decided to tackle filled cupcakes.  Allow me to introduce you to...

Caramel Filled Chocolate Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Buttercream Frosting

Now, I just put the finishing touches on these and haven't partaken of the product as a whole yet.  But I can tell you the individual components are awesome.  I would seriously take a bath in this frosting.  The caramel drizzles didn't turn out as artful as I would have liked, but I had to reheat the caramel(yes I made that from scratch too) and it cooked a little more and then sets up so quickly outside of the pan.  Oh well.  Live and learn.  Next time will be better.  I can't wait to taste one.  I'm fairly certain they will be EPIC!

My roommate, Lindsey, told me she was impressed at how domestic I was.  And that got me to thinking...if the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach...why am I single?  Not only am I a pretty good cook(if I do say so myself), but I actually enjoy doing it!





I've suddenly found myself with a little extra time on my hands.  The little boy that I watch fell and broke his femur on Friday and will just be chilling with his mom and baby sister at home for a little while.  So I think I'm going to spend the next couple weeks(remember how my family is going to Disneyland next week without me?  I am going to go crazy with no one to entertain me!) trying new recipes and making a few up.  I'm pretty excited about it.  Don't worry!  I'll post the tasty(and even the not so tasty) attempts here on the blog for your entertainment.  I know it's what you live for.

i

i am Wendi Lyn Rushforth and i am currently reading The Historian.

i think WAY too much.
i am happy when I get to play with my nieces.
i have slight OCD tendencies.
i miss having a "person".(you know what I mean and I don't want to dwell)
i fear becoming a cat lady(I'm allergic and then I'd die and they'd eat my face).
i feel like my head might explode.
i smell, but not very often...I try to shower regularly.
i usually sing while I do dishes.
i search for sheet music constantly. I'm always looking to expand my library.
i regret my degree. I really wish I'd gotten a degree in something useful.
i love music. I had an all music day today. Seriously. I got up and organized music and then I filled in for Mr. Smith at the High School and ran through concert music with Concert Choir and then I went home and practiced for voice lessons and then I went to voice lessons and then I went to the choir concert. Can I just say, it was pure happiness!
i care way too much.
i tell myself to be patient...but it's not very effective.
i worry that I'm going to be that old crazy matronly Aunt in the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland who makes up boyfriends.
i am not the type to give up...like ever...on anything...it's a blessing and a curse.

i remember this one time when my brother and I got ice cream and mine fell in the puddle and my mom said it was all gone and then my brother(seriously he had to be like 2) smirked at me while he licked his ice cream cone.
i believe things happen for a reason.
i sing a lot. But I get anxiety about singing in front of all my uber talented friends.
i don’t always give myself as much credit as I should.
i don’t like when people treat me like I'm stupid.
i write a lot. On my blog, in my journal, on the stalls of bathrooms(okay, not the last one).
i win when I mini golf, but only because I cheat.
i lose pieces of my sanity every single day.
i dance but not nearly as often as I'd like. Who wants to take me dancing?
i wish...Where do I even start?
i never thought I would be childless, divorced, and dating again at the age of 29.

i listen to my iTunes playlists. They read my mood and play me exactly what I need.
i don't understand why some people are so stupid.
i can usually be found at the piano.
i need to go on a vacation.
i forget by choice. I have a really good memory.

I stole this from my friend, Eliza. Her blog is also private, so you can't read hers. She stole it from her sister. I thought it was fun so here it is.

Guys? Chad Fell Down...

So anyone who has a private blog...I've changed my email address and now I need new invites from ya'll. 
wendirushforth@gmail.com

Okay thanks guys.  You're swell!

Favorite Things- Summer 2012 Edition

With the heat of summer sneaking upon us, I thought I'd tell you some of my favorite things that help me not go crazy(completely) in the Utah heat.  I know you probably don't really care, but I'm a-gonna tell you anyway.

 This is my new discovery for this summer.  It's Garnier's Miracle Skin Perfector Tinted Moisturizer.  And it is AWESOME.  Seriously ladies, my new favorite tinted moisturizer.  I've been using a sample of Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, which I love.  However, it's $40+ price tag...I don't so much love.  This lovely new product was only $11.97(I've only found it at Walmart, so all you Walmart-haters, you're just going to have to untwist your panties and go).  And it's a good sized product too.  I like it because it's not too greasy(seriously some tinted moisturizers are really slimy) and it provides decent coverage.  It only has SPF 15(I think), but some is better than none.  And this stuff is perfect coverage for summer time.  I hate wearing make up any time, really.  I wear it because that little voice called Vanity tells me to.  But any time I can get away with less, I jump on it.  With this I use a bit of concealer(have we discussed how irritated I am with the wrinkles AND the breakouts?  I'm in the midst of another (undoubtedly stress-induced) breakout and I'm less than pleased), my Nars Multiple(I splurged a while ago and have never once regretted it.  I won't tell you what color it is, except that it's scandalous sounding(hey, my brothers read this blog) and it's always voted the best blush color by Allure.), a little eye shadow, liner and mascara.  Seriously takes me 5 minutes and I'm ready to go.  And I've had a lot of compliments the last few days I've been using it.

 The Apartment has AC.  It also has 2 floors and no basement.  Oh how I miss having a basement retreat.  And oh how I hate sleeping on a 2nd story.  Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.  And I'm sorry but due to personal preference, I like to sleep with at least a light blanket(my bed spread really isn't very heavy.  It's a security blanket type thing, I guess.  Mock if you must).  But my mom bought a tower fan at Costco(love Costco) and it came with a mini.  So I've been using that.  However, it has started making weird noises...so I'm taking it back to my mom's house today.  There's no way I'll survive the summer without a fan next to my bed.

One of the best things about summer is all the fresh produce.  I'm a real produce snob and don't particularly care for canned fruits and veggies.  I mean, I cook with them when it's necessary.  But I really don't like to just eat them.  There are a few exceptions, of course.  Mostly, though, I love me some fresh fruits and veggies.  I can't wait for all the gardens to start producing and the peach trees to come on.  I know, that's still a while away.  In the meantime, I can enjoy that not all fruit is going to cost me my first born(suckers!  I'm not likely to have to pay up on that!) and be less than satisfying because it's not in season.

Another thing I'm excited about is swimming.  It's on my 30 Before I'm 30 list.  "Learn how to Swim".  I'm sure you've all laughed to yourself that I'm 30 and don't really know how to swim.  I'm happy to provide you a moment's entertainment.  I have my first pool party of the summer this weekend and while I probably won't be swimming laps, I do get to wear my swimsuit, which I actually really like.  And yes I'll be putting a bit more effort into my exercise routine this week.

Well, there you have it.  Some of my favorite summer-related things.  There are others, of course, but these are the ones I'm most obsessed with currently.  Maybe as summer goes along I'll update the list.  Meh.  We'll see.

Affirmations

You know how all those self-help books tell you to have daily affirmations to help you be the person you want to be?  I've been working on my own little affirmations.

I've been getting really frustrated with people who are maybe placed on this earth with the specific mission of driving me crazy.  I know, that's probably not the case, nor is that a very sunny point of view.  But come on, we all have those people.  Maybe they're people you're forced to interact with because of work or church callings or even because they're family...but you HAVE to deal with them and somehow they manage to drive you nutsy nearly every time you see them.  Or maybe they're just random people you come into contact with by chance and you wish their mothers hadn't let them eat lead-based paint when they were children.  Or you know, we're all a little annoying sometimes and even our favorite people and best friends can make us want to pull our hair out sometimes.

You're probably thinking I have low-tolerance or something.  Yes, I suppose that's true sometimes.  We all have those days.  But I'm trying to have fewer.  Here are my new daily affirmations...

"I will not people with my car.  I will not punch anyone in the face.  I will not slam someone's head into the wall."

Laugh all you want.  Or you might think that I have an anger-management problem.  I would like to clarify...I've never actually hit anyone with my car, punched anyone in the face or slammed a person's head into the wall.  But sometimes I have really strong urges.

I have to repeat these to myself often throughout any given day.  But I think it's helping, and isn't that what's really important?

Update Pictures

Due to the nature of life, things are always changing. Not quite a year ago, we had a family photoshoot with my mom's side of the family. However, since then things have changed. So for my mom for Mother's Day, I gathered my siblings and my nieces and we had a quick little photoshoot. We'll obviously need to do another shoot in the fall after Rushforth baby #2 and McCabe baby #2 arrive. But for now, this will do...

Aren't we pretty people?

I love these faces! So. Much. And they are growing up WAY too fast!

Taylor is showing us how to smile.

Emma loves Taylor...maybe too much.

Life changes so quickly. And often we are left with memories...and photos. I wouldn't trade these memories and photos for anything and I'm so glad I've always got a camera with me to capture people and moments like these!

Quotes

So as I waste time with Pinterest, sometimes I come upon a fun little quote.  And I decided to share a few...

"My Doctor told me to start killing people.  Well, not in those exact words.  He said I had to reuce the stress in my life.  Same thing." You know it's true.

"Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions" Story. Of. My. Life.

"Just because I laugh a lot, doesn't mean my life is easy.  Just because I have a smile on my face everyday, doesn't mean that something is not bothering me.  I just choose to move on, and not dwell on all the negatives in my life.  Every new moment gives me the chance to renew anew.  I choose to be that.  I choose to be happy."  I'm working on it.

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.  Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.  Think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.  Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.  Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.  Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that is in you!" This makes me exhausted!

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling.  You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps.  It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in.  It is what God gave you time for." ~Elder Neal L Anderson Yesterday was Mother's Day, which is my least favorite day of the year...I'm just going to leave it at that.

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop." ~ President Dieter F. Uchdorf I need to do a lot better.

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear." ~ Oscar Wilde I love Oscar Wilde.  And I love this quote for oh so many reasons.

"An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.  So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it's going to launch you into something great." It ought to be something spectacularly great at this point.

"Pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our cicumstances to be changed." ~Elder David A. Bednar Yup.

CHECK!

Well, I woke up this morning and decided I needed a project(it's been a loooong week and I needed to focus on something plus tomorrow is Mothers Day and I just haven't done that well for 6 years now and I am not anticipating this year being any different).  So I decided today would be the day I "Learn a new Handyman Skill"(as per my 30 Before 30 list). 

I've been wanting to clean out the drain in the bathroom sink.  It's been really slow lately and I knew there had to be a whole chunk of hair down there(after all, it's used by girls). 

So I decided to learn a skill AND be self-reliant trying to do it.  I used the handy-dandy internet and Home Depot told me how to disconnect the sink drain.  I got out my tools(thanks mom and dad for the oh so necessary Christmas gift!), and went to work on that sucker.  It really wasn't a big deal to get it all disconnected. 

And what came out with the stopper was DISGUSTING!  And all I could think was, "I've only lived here since January...and I KNOW no one else did this anytime recently(I showed Lindsey how to disconnect hers too...we're cleaning buddies) so I know that most of what is down here belonged to someone else."  After that initial terrifying thought, I decided not to dwell on that and just went to work with my old toothbrush cleaning all the sludge off the stopper and out of the drain. 

Then I went to work reassembling.  The instructions to reassemble were not quite so helpful.  It was pretty much "And then reattach the parts and cross your fingers your sink doesn't leak".  It took me more than an hour, and many many failed attempts to get things hooked back up correctly.  I did have my dad come over and take a look to make sure water wasn't going to gush forth at any moment.  And it turns out, I had it put back together right(in my bathroom AND Lindsey's), it just needed to be tightened down in a way only guys can do. 

So, I'm kind of patting myself on the back.  Everything is reattached, and I cleaned the bathroom and nothing is leaking!  Not too shabby for a Saturday morning!  Now to decided what to check off next...

I Need Some Random in my life

If I could have someone wash my hair for me everyday(or at least a few times a week), I would totally be in heaven!

I slept funny on my neck a few nights ago and now I'm really suffering.  I can't get it fixed.  It makes me sad...and very uncomfortable.

I love that it's about to be fresh produce season.  I love eating fresh produce and, strangely enough, I like shopping for fresh produce.  I know it's weird.

I've been trying to stay up on current events.  When I was in college, I would be glued to the news(TV, Internet, print, whatever) so I could be up to date.  I took a lot of political science classes(remember how that was my minor?) and it was kind of important that I knew what was going on.  I've missed being in the know.  Plus, with it being a presidential election year, it's extra important to me to know what's going on, not just in politics and the race, but around the world because those are issues that will be making their way into the campaign.

My hair smells super good right now.  That's all I have to say about that.

My friend Angie introduced me to this new concealer.  It is color matching.  It comes out of the tube gray and then as you rub and pat it into your skin, it changes to match your skin tone.  It's amazing.  And really creepy.  I'm concerned that there are nanobots in the make up and that they're going to make their way to my brain and take over.

I'm really excited that it's getting warmer!  I'm ready to go hiking and camping and fishing and boating and all that fun stuff!  And dutch oven cooking or foil dinners!  Love it!

I miss all the piano playing I was doing at the University of Utah.  I need to practice more.  And you know, as much as I love that I have any kind of piano to play, my digital piano is less than ideal and I really get frustrated with it sometimes.

I'm making some progress on my 30 Before I'm 30 list.  I've got a few checked off and I'm nearly done with a couple others and I've put others in motion.  I'm on track to finish before October 15th. 

My roommate has been sick and has been coughing all over the apartment.  And she's not covering her mouth.  Seriously sweetie, you're 25!  Cover it!  AND as sick as she is, she should be quarantied to her room, but noooo she's spewing germs all over the living room and kitchen.  So I've been using lots of Clorox wipes.  Pretty much just following her around removing germs from surfaces I'm going to have to touch or sit on or cook on.  And as much as I love Clorox wipes, my hands are getting really dry.

I'm really tired right now, but I'm not sure if I'd actually be able to go to sleep.  I've had some problems getting my brain to shut down so I can go to sleep.  I've got to get the off switch fixed for that.

I need a new book to read.  I know several of you out there that might still be reading my craziness like to read.  Make me some suggestions!  I'm feeling intellectual.  But I actually like reading more than one book at a time, so suggest a variety of stuff.

I'm Such a Grown-Up

Today, I conquered my fears.  Well, I conquered two of them, and kept a third in check.  What did I do, you ask? 

Did I bungee jump?  Nope.  Did I skydive? Nope(but I do think this one would be kind of fun).  Did I work on my lion taming skills?  Nope.  Did I track down that mouse that I'm 60% sure doesn't occassionally occupy my kitchen garbage can(long story)?  Nope(but I'm having nightmares about it and am highly concerned it's nibbling my toes at night).

I did none of these things.  Honestly, it really isn't going to sound like a big deal.  But it's a big deal to me.

Today, I ate.... a Banana!

Go ahead and mock the fact that I have never(at least not in my memory) eaten a banana.  No, I'm not allergic.  I just never liked banana flavored things.  I didn't like banana in my smoothie.  And quite frankly, I think the texture of the banana made me a little squeemish.

But today, I bought a few bananas. You see, I've been waking up in the middle of the night with foot cramps.  They're painful and frustrating and they're waking me up from quite lovely dreams and it's really starting to irritate me.  And apparently one of the reasons you get foot cramps, is due to a lack of potassium.  And guess what is a great source of potassium?  Bananas! 

I ate a banana.  Now, I'd much rather be eating Strawberries, or an apple, or peaches, or pineapple, or Raspberries...but on the whole, the banana experience wasn't that bad.  And if it means getting fewer foot cramps, then I can totally handle it.

I also made Fajitas today.  I'm not a particularly picky eater.  I can always find something at a restaurant to eat.  I just might pick around some items in the dish.  I really like the taste of peppers and onions, as in I cook with them.  But I don't like to eat them.  However, in an attempt to be a real grown up, I ate them on my fajitas.  It's really a texture thing.  I'm weird, I know.  Whatever.

You might also notice tomatoes on my fajita.  So funny story about me and tomatoes.  Growing up, I did NOT like tomatoes.  Ever.  And my parents grew them.  I didn't even like cherry tomatoes.  I like tomato-based stuff, just not raw tomatoes.  And because of my texture issues, I don't particularly like giant chunks of tomatoes in things either, even cooked. 

However, as I got older, and started eating out a little more, I started feeling like a dork when I asked restaurants to give me a ketchup only burger(I know!  I know!  I'm a weirdo!).  So I started dealing with it(but no onions and NO pickles).  But I'd only eat tomatoes at restaurants.  Never at home. 

But a couple weeks ago, my roommate and I were making tacos.  She doesn't like tomatoes either, but is attempting to be healthier and with tomatoes, you can hide them in things.  So I put tomatoes on my taco that night.  Not too bad.

I did a repeat with the fajitas tonight, plus there are peppers under all that cheese(love me some cheese) too! 

I mean seriously!  I'm such an grown up!  Not only am I branching out and trying new things, but I'm actually liking them!  I feel like I have to re-evaluate my entire existence.  Maybe everything I ever believed I didn't like...I actually like!  I'm going to have to take a couple days to figure things out.  It's really shaking my world. ;)

The Stars, Moon and Planets Align

So last night, about an hour after sunset, I went outside to see the the Moon, Saturn and the bright star Spica in triple conjunction(close together in the sky, when in reality they are actually very distant in space).  And I was going to take an epic picture and make some enlightening post about how the stars are finally in alignment and what that means in my life.  But I couldn't see it from the parking lot of my apartment.  And I was already in my pajamas.  And I didn't want to get in my car and drive to a better vantage point.  Clearly this was a very important project to me. :)

Fortuntately, someone else did the leg work.

I don't particularly care about Arcturus, but you know, whatever.  Maybe Arcturus is very important in my daily life, and I'm not even aware.

So you got the cop-out version of the photo.  Here's the cop-out version of the blog post...

I feel like things are starting to come together in my life.  I've made a lot of changes and decisions over the last 6 months(can you believe it's been 6 months?) and things have been a little scattered.  But I think I'm finally getting my footing.  I'm figuring out what it means to be single and divorced.  It means carrying a little more baggage than I'm used to.  It means being alone when I really need someone.  It means needing every ounce of spunk I possess to make it through a single day.  It means dating again(there are pros and cons).  It means learning to trust someone again.  It means taking care of myself, because no one else is going to.  It means being fiscally responsible(but let's be honest, I'm just that person).  It means acknowledging that I may not ever have the life I thought I would.  It means understand that the life I have might be even better than I thought...I just have to open my mind to the possibilities.   It means a lot of tough choices I have to make on my own, for myself.  It means doing some things less and other things more.  It means being frustrated some days.  It means finding new ways to be happy.  It means a lot of things have changed, but many have not.  It means I've got to start from scratch in some ways.  It means I get a 2nd chance.

And while I still have a lot of things to figure out, and I'm still making mistakes(but really, who doesn't?), and I don't know exactly what is on the horizon tomorrow, things are starting to line up pretty nicely(and yes it makes me nervous when things go well...I'm trying to enjoy it and not wait for the next catastrophe...that's really no way to live, is it?).  And even if they only line up for one day, it's really pretty impressive that they line up at all, you know, all things considering.

Allow Me to Impart my... Wisdom?

*This post has been in the works for a while.  I just needed to be in the right place mentally to write it correctly.  And the last few weeks, I've just not been who I needed to be to write this adequately.

One of the things my mom and I picked up in Washington DC is a little plaque with a Benjamin Franklin quote. 

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness.  It's up to you to catch it."

So very true, right?!  In a world of instant gratification and entitlement, I think we get frustrated if we're not happy...just because. 

I think we all have those days where nothing is going right and the whole world seems to have ganged up against you and you can't seem to piece together enough positive to even find a reason to get up tomorrow morning.  Those are the days you have to really want happiness.  Those are the days you have to be willing to put on your fancy running shoes and chase happiness down.  Somedays, I feel like I've run a marathon trying to find something, anything, to be happy about.  And honestly, somedays, I just sit at home whining about how nothing is going my way.

I've had far too many of these pity parties as of late.  It's got to stop.  A little sadness is okay.  If we weren't sad sometimes, how would we know to appreciate the times when we're happy?  But I've been letting it weigh me down too much.  Which leads me to my next wisdomous tid bit.

I was watching The Lion King with my niece, Taylor, a few weeks ago.  And you know Rafiki?  The monkey?  Well, he finds Simba, after he's run away and grown up, and whacks him on the head with a stick.  Simba tells him that it hurt.  And Rafiki shares a little life-changing monkey wisdom...

Rafiki:  It doesn't matter!  It's in the past.
Simba:  It still hurt!
Rafiki:  Ah yes.  The past can hurt.  But the way I see it, you can either run from it...or learn from it.

People might think I had a limited childhood because of all the Disney I grew up with.  But when you learn such valuable life lessons, who can really complain? 

I think that I thought after the divorce was finalized, I could just go on with life, acting like those awful things had never happened.  And honestly, it worked for a little while.  But eventually they all came screaming back, in various forms and very painful reminders. 

You can try to run from it, but it's always going to be there and somehow the past always catches up to you. 

And yes, parts of the past hurt.  It's hard for me to forget the sting of rejection, of not being enough for him to want to do anything to be with me.  It's hard for me to think about trusting someone again when he had promised never to hurt me.  It's hard for me to trust that next time around I can be partners with someone who won't betray me and start making decisions not caring about the damage it would do to me, so long as he was doing what he wanted.  It's hard for me to hope that one day I can have all the things that were just within my grasp, and then were yanked away.

BUT...

Going through life not trying to have those things is not an option.  I can't be so scared of what might happen, that I don't take the risk.  The greater the risk, the greater the potential reward.  Sure I'll still find myself disappointed from time to time.  But if I never go out on a limb, never imagine myself catching that happiness, I'll never get the things I know I want. 

And honestly, how do you run from 8 years of your past?  You can't.  And you'll exhaust yourself to insanity if you try. 

So I'll learn from it.  I'll learn that I can't place all the blame for something on someone else.  But I can't accept all the responsibilities for something either.  And while I tried, the best I thought I could, there are still things I could have done differently.  I can learn that, when it comes down to it, I'm a lot stronger than I would ever have thought.  I can learn that, while I'm not perfect and I still have a lot to figure out, I'm really good at some things.  I can learn that sometimes you just have to live with the crap.  I can't wish awful things to happen to someone who hurt me.  I can wish that he would accept some responsiblity and feel some remorse.  But I need to accept that it's something I'm probably not going to witness, at least not in this lifetime.

And then I move on.  I keep chasing down the things that make me happy.  I keep learning from the past.  I keep taking deep breaths and taking the risk, because it's what I need.

I NEED to GO Some Place

I'm so antsy.  It took all of my self control to not jump in my car and drive somewhere.  Mostly I didn't because I had commitments for early this week.  It's a good thing I have a photoshoot on Saturday or I might be in my car, as we speak(or as I type, although, that would make blogging difficult and dangerous).

I seriously need to go to on a vacation.  I've spent the last few days looking into various trips I could take.  I'm debating between somewhere close and familiar(Southern California) or somewhere distant and exotic(Oh, Europe, someday...). 

One thing is for certain, I NEED to get AWAY!  Any suggestions?  Anyone want to come along?

Vote in the poll so I can decide where to go!