5 Months

So 5 months ago, yesterday(it was a really busy day yesterday), I got picked up by a really handsome man who took me to Paradise Cafe and then the Aquarium, where we saw awesome animals like the Black Crappy and a very inappropriately named fish in the Super Hero section.  But the Otters were my favorite.  I kind of want an Otter at my house.

And the rest, as they say, is history.  The last 5 months have been the happiest I can remember.  Everyday I find new things to love about him.  And even though sometimes he dresses like this...

I'm just glad that he's so happy.  

And then sometimes I get to see him do things like this...

Right?  

Yep.  I'm a very blessed and very happy girl.  And in two weeks, I get to go experience Disneyland with him.  It's going to be Epic!

And I can't wait to see what the next 5 months have in store for us!

UPDATE: My Favorite Things

I'm not gonna lie, I like the "My Favorite Things" posts I do.  Hopefully someone out there likes them too.

1. My new cleanser

I went to Sephora a few weeks ago.  I've been having breakout AND wrinkle problems.  It was time to get some professional help.  This cleanser smells awesome!  My skin is still adjusting completely.  It takes 6 weeks for your skin to cycle and adjust to changes.  Good story, huh?

2. Ponds Cream

So in the process of summer AND trying to get some of my breakout issues under control, I have some dry spots on my face.  Ponds changed my life last week when I picked it up.  It's the only thing that has halted the scales on my cheeks.  And it was less than $5 for a big jar.

3. Sushi

I. Love. Sushi.  Seriously, I could eat it all the time.  And it's really pretty good for you.  So at least it's not like "I could eat cheesecake all the time."  Granted, I could probably do that too.

4. Sara Bareilles

I really love her music a lot.  And this is her newest album.  I'm listening to it right now.  It's good.

5. This Guy.

He's my MOST favorite thing.

UPDATE: Thoughts

Stop your freaking whining!

I am not even sort of kidding.  Everyone has problems.  Everyone has hurts.  And while I would never trivialize someone else's problems, I think it's important to keep a big picture view.

And on that note, I'd like to introduce you to a new blog...
http://timeinthevineyard.blogspot.com/
This blog is written by one of my best friends.  She's always Always ALWAYS been such a huge example to me.  She's had her trials, some doozies, if you ask me, but she not only endures, but she endures with such a positive attitude.  She'll be the first to contradict me and say that she hasn't always felt she endures so well (in fact, I think she mentions it on her blog), but she is still amazing!  And I love her to death!  And she says things in a much more tactful way than I ever would.  I am so blessed to have her in my life, even if it is at a distance these days.

I was thinking back and thinking about what a rough 2 years it has been.  And then I thought really it's been a rough several years.  I look back and I'm seriously amazed that I've managed to emerge from the avalanche that was my life for a while mostly intact.  And I know I have all of you amazing friends and family to thank.  I'm so grateful for each and every one of you!

But seriously, stop reading my blog and go read something worthwhile on my friend's blog.

UPDATE: Everything Else

I think this category is the most major!  Let's see...where to start?

Well, in May, my roommate and I decided to move to Salt Lake to be closer to all the "action".  Ok.  We're not really "action" people, but now that she has a new job at IMC too, we have a lovely under 10 minute drive to work.  We're on the top floor of an apartment complex.  I took a solemn oath after the move that I would never move to a top floor apartment again.  I take the oath very seriously because my brothers, brother-in-law, dad, uncle and boyfriend (WHAT? Yes you read that right.) were troopers and hefted all the heavy things up the stairs in one night.  They're so great.

Next...Hm....I don't think anything else has changed.



JUST KIDDING.  So one of my best friends, Cecily, set me up on a blind date.  She had judged a music festival and her co-judge was the little brother of one of her favorite theater folk. And she decided a date needed to take place.  Bless her for making it happen.  I think we'll owe her for a while.

Anyway, his name is Adam.  And yes that's a little confusing since I have a nephew Adam.  But for now, we distinguish with Big Adam and Little Adam.  It's pretty cute when my nieces ask if Big Adam is coming to something.  He's definitely got their stamp of approval, which is a good thing because that would have been a deal breaker.

He just graduated from the University of Utah (phew!  Grandma Susie can be happy about that) and is going to be the new Choir Teacher at Alta High School.  He's a tenor.  He's amazingly talented.  His whole family is.  I get a little intimidated, not gonna lie.

We've been dating for almost 5 months now.  It's good.  I'm happy.

Stay Tuned...

UPDATE: Family

How am I so lucky to have these adorable little people in my life?  They love me absolutely.  They give me hugs and treat me like I'm their favorite person in the world (don't tell me if it's not true, I'll die a little).  I can't believe how big they're all getting!  My babies are 1 and my big girls are 3 going on 4!  I love their faces so much!

As an extension, I'm so grateful for their parents, who are more than willing to let me borrow them from time to time.  And they understand that when I talk about stealing them and running to the border, I wouldn't actually do that.  But would you blame me?  They're so stinkin' cute!

I'm so lucky to have such an amazing family that takes such good care of me!

UPDATE: Work

Since I last updated, I've had a lot of career changes in my life....

Previously, I reported that I had 2 interviews at Intermountain facilities.  They both went very well and both hospitals wanted me.  Fortunately, the big Mother Ship in Murray (IMC), gets priority.  So I started at the beginning of April as a PRN Pharmacy Technician at IMC.  I did about 5 weeks of training and then began filling in.  It was pretty good.  Definitely a step up from the pharmacy I did my Externship at, and then worked for a couple months.  But not having a consistent schedule and having to work occasional weekends.

However, a great opportunity came up shortly.  And in June, I was offered a position in the Infusion Clinic at IMC as an IV tech.  And....I LOVE it!  5 days a week, 7-3:30, no weekends, no holidays.  It's pretty much perfection.  And it's a big step up, career-wise, from what I started out doing.  I'm amazed I've been able to advance so quickly!  I feel so blessed!

At this point, I think I'm pretty content as a Tech.  I don't have a huge desire to go back, do all my prerequisites and then have several more years in Pharmacy school.  I'm also playing the piano still for Cecily on Tuesdays.  And that helps with my little music bug.

Anyway, so that's my work update.

Back By Popular Demand

I've heard some complaining lately about how I haven't been keeping current on my blog posts. It's not that there hasn't been anything to blog about.  There's been A LOT.  And I got behind.  And then it just seemed like too much work to get caught up.  So I didn't.

That's it.  That's all the excuse I have.  But prepare for a whole slew of blog posts updating you about all the major and minor and chromatic (just a little music humor for you) happenings in my life. And when you find yourselves thinking "Holy Blog Overload, Batman!" remember that you asked for it.

Perfection

Sorry to break it to ya folks, but it just doesn't exist.

You know how when you go shopping and you have a very specific outfit/dress in mind?  And for some reason you can never find it?

Duh!  You're not a designer.  That thing you've created in your mind exists only there.  You can look and look and look but you're never going to find that perfect outfit. 

You get disappointed.  And frustrated.  Why is it so hard to find something that you like?  Um because you aren't just looking for something you like.  You're trying to satisfy the unrealistic expectation of that perfect outfit that doesn't exist because you imagined it!

Finally, you start to open your mind up to the possibility that there might be something out there that could be "good enough."  The unreasonable part of your brain will try to tell you that you would be "settling" for something "less".  Not true. 

You start looking around with a new perspective.  This dress has all of these characteristics...but not this one or this one.  I guess it's okay.   This dress is the wrong color, but otherwise...oh but it doesn't fit quite right.  This dress is pretty good...actually it's really good.  And it's really versatile.  It just needs a little accessorizing.

So you buy it.  And you realize that you actually really like it.  In fact, it might even be better than that dress you had in your head.  It fits great.  It works for so many different occassions.  You even found the perfect pair of shoes to complement it! 

Before you know it, it's your favorite piece of clothing and you don't know how you could live without it.  And you've forgotten all about that "perfect" dress.

Good story, huh?  Ya, I wasn't really talking about a dress.

Sometimes All You Need is a Plan

Things have been going pretty well the last few days.

First, I had a job interview yesterday at the University of Utah hospital.  It was interesting.  It was a "group interview" with me and one other woman.  The other woman had 20 years of experience as a Pharmacy Tech.  I was not amused. 

But it's okay!  I have 2 more interviews at Intermountain facilities on Friday!  YAY!  IMC and Alta View.  Definitely a good thing since what I was originally promised at my current job is NOT what they've delivered.  So not okay. 

I've been working hard on not checking the Evil Facebook as often.  And I think it's helping.  I'd still be better off if I didn't check it at all, but it's like a nicotine addiction.  And I need a patch system to slowly dial down the drug.  Ha Ha  Stupid Facebook.

I've been doing some working out.  I found a couple YouTube Kickboxing workout vidoes that I like.  I'm also considering getting a punching bag and then putting pictures of faces on them.  Then I can punch people in the face.  I think it would be therapeutic.  There's just some people I want to punch at least every other day.  (SIDE NOTE:  Did I mention that I punched myself in the face the other night?  Well I did.  It hurt.  Fortunately I did not break my nose.  That would have been awkward to explain in the emergency room.)

I spent some time with my niece Emma.  My nieces and nephew always bring happiness to my life.  Plus, I was helping out a bit since Emma's little brother, Adam has had croup and Emma's mommy needed a little break.  Service always makes you feel good.

Anyway, it's nice to have a plan.  Trust me, I know things don't always go according to plan.  But still, I had to do something because I was really starting to come unhinged.  I still need to work a few things out.  Seriously I might have some anger management issues because punching people in the face is all too appealing to me sometimes.  But I'm getting better.

Also, stay tuned for some Epic Adventures that are upcoming.

It's Time for Some Change

Ugh!  Life is rough sometimes.  I thought things needed a little freshening.  When I was growing up, my mom would randomly rearrange furniture in the house.  I now wonder if that wasn't one of her ways of dealing with stress.  Furniture arrangement was something she could control.  Meh.  Whatever the reason, I rearranged the living room yesterday and today I'm doing a little life redecorating.

Things are a little bit of a disaster right now.  Not like DISASTER!  Just chaotic.  And I've been trying to tackle all aspects at once.  This was not only complete uneffective, but actually made it worse, I think.  So this morning I came up with a plan.

Step 1- Get a new job.  I have a certain amount of control over this one.  The job I have is not the right fit for me.  I'll leave it at that.

Step 2- Forget Facebook.  I won't be going completely offline, but I need to withdraw from the Facebook work in a substantial way.  I can't keep reading about how so many people are getting the things I want or about how awful the world is.  And all the Facebook Politicking is exhausting me.  Plus, I really shouldn't care what everyone is doing.  I think I thought I was living vicariously through the seemingly more exciting lives of others.  Instead, I was just resenting the fact that I wasn't getting to have the things I thought I should have.  Some of those things are within my power to have, others, not so much.  But it's time I stop getting so frustrated at the world because of what people write on Facebook, which is probably slightly exaggerated.  No offense, folks.  Just the way it has to be.

Step 3-  New exercise routine.  I think I'm going to take up Kickboxing.  I think it'll be good for the aggression I have.  I think a balanced routine of Kickboxing and Yoga (and some Just Dance 3 with Angie) ought to help me chill out a little. Plus, I'll be working out.

Step 4- I have got to get out of my house at least 2 times a week and do something that isn't work.  It's rough because I work 1-8 and in the morning I'm trying to get things done around the house.  But I seriously need human contact (that isn't work).  So if anyone wants to help me not go insane, let me know!

Step 5- Be Positive.  I've been letting a lot of negative thoughts creep in my mind and take hold.  And it's not okay.  It's tearing me apart from the inside out.  It makes me angry at myself for letting them in.  If anyone has any good suggestions for helping out with this, I'd really appreciate them.

Step 6- Continue with the Epic Adventures.  Some of them might not seem very exciting to you folks, but I've got to find something cool in my life some days.

That's what I've got for now.  And as you can see, the blog has had a facelift.  I'm going for the Meg from Hercules inspiration.  I'm a Damsel.  I'm in Distress.  I can handle it.  Have a nice day.

Epic Adventure #8

I got my Utah Pharmacy Technician License.  Well, I don't have a hard copy, but I have a number and potential employers can go online to DOPL and look it up and see that I have an active license.

What does that mean?  It means that I can A) stop doing delivery clerk stuff at work and finally be a tech and B) look for a job at a hospital, should I so desire.  I'd really like a 7 on/7 off job.  I think I could really like that kind of schedule.  But I can't be too picky.  I'll even take PRN if it will get my foot in the door.  I've applied at Intermountain and University of Utah Hospital.  We'll see how it goes.

Epic Adventure #7

Mandy and Garrett were nice enough to throw a big old Oscar Night party on Sunday.  It was a lot of fun for the kids and adults alike.  And there was a ton of great food.

Grant, Garrett and Angie's brother, is apparently a Sushi Master.  So we tried our hands at homemade sushi.  It turned out pretty good I think.  Tasty and pretty. 

We thought we could eat it all.  We were mistaken.  But we are pretty impressive Sushi Chefs now.  And no one has died from side effects of homemade sushi consumption (at least to my knowledge).

My Brilliant New Idea

So I've been contemplating getting a fish.  I feel like I need a little responsiblity.  And my friend, Amy says that if I can keep a fish alive, then I'm ready for relationships with other people. 

But I can't decide for sure.  So I set up a poll on the side.  Please participate.  Maybe this is how I'm going to make all my future decisions.  Blog Polling.

Who Needs Sleep?

Clearly not me as it's currently 12:23 am and I'm blogging.  I've already tossed and turned for over an hour.  I even threw pillows at the wall in expression of my great frustration.  Of course, then I had to go retrieve them so I could make another vain attempt at sleep.

Epic. Fail.

So I'm blogging.  Maybe there's something on my mind that just needs to get out so everything can rest peacefully tonight.  Maybe.

Maybe?  Ha!  Of course there is.  My brain is in overdrive most of the time.  And it likes to get extra agitated right as I'm trying to go to sleep.  Come on!  You've had all day to think about things and analyze things and decide things and imagine things and sleeping time is when you decided to really kick it into gear?!

What's that?  You tell me I've been ignoring bigger issues throughout the day?   I'm purposefully ignoring things and people who make me want to bang my head against the wall?  Wait!  I'm putting important, yet tedious or uncomfortable tasks on the back-burner in the hopes that they'll resolve themselves?

Oh ya.  I totally do that.  Oops.

But you know what?  Some issues I can't deal with on my own.  Some issues need to be resolved with a second party.  I can't wave my magic fairy wand and make people use their words.  I can't use my crystal ball and see into the future to know if certain people and events are going to continue to perplex me.  I can't use my Jedi mind tricks to have people do my bidding. (Obviously if I had any of these powers, I would only use them for good)

And in some circumstances, I try.  I really really do.  I've made a few goals this year.  I refuse to call them Resolutions because those rarely go well.  So Goals it is.

Goal #1- Be a nicer person.  I'm trying not to be so sarcastic.  More importantly I'm trying to be more encouraging and supportive of my friends and family and their endeavors.  I'm also working on my road rage.  Mostly because I can't yell out "Whore" when my nieces are in the car because they are at the age where they really pick up on things.  I'm trying not to be as critical.  It may not seem like I'm making much progress.  But I really am trying.

Goal #2-  Be a better communicator.  Sometimes I like to avoid situations that make me uncomfortable because I HATE confrontation.  Seriously, I'll just convince myself that I'm the one to blame for an awkward exchange or argument or whatever if it means  I don't have to confront someone else.  Of course, that leads to a lot of stress and anxiety on my part because then I start to believe that I'm some sort of burden on the world and I'm the source of everyone's unhappiness.  Okay.  That was a little melodramatic, but you know what I mean.

Goal #3-  Think.  Sometimes I have knee-jerk reactions that aren't always the best.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes my initial impression or thought is correct.  But I'm trying harder to take deep breaths and really think through things before I make decisions.  I'm trying to do this before I respond to emails and text messages too so that I don't say something I might regret.

The frustrating part is that not everyone is making an effort to be a better communicator.  And the world is still full of a lot of stupid people that make it really hard for me to be a nicer person.  And sometimes in the heat of the moment, I don't always stop to think.  And I am human and I make mistakes!  I forget that.  And other people do too.  I'm not going to magically achieve my goals just cuz I want to.  I do appreciate little acknowledgements of my successes in these areas though.  Hopefully I have the occasional success.

I've had to change a lot of things about my life and how I see life in the present and the future.  This last year has been quite the roller coaster.  And in some ways, it's calming down.  In others...well, I just keep hoping things are going to work out the way they are supposed to. Honestly, what else can I do but hope?

So why am I not sleeping?  Because I have unrealistic expectations of myself.  Because I know I have a million things waiting for me this week.  Because I'm trying to be a better person and I feel like I'm failing miserably.  Because I have unresolved things that maybe some people can sleep through, but I can not.  Because I have life decisions to make.  Because I'm afraid I offend people daily.  Because I can't stop thinking about all the ways I could have been better last week.  Because I'm a girl and apparently that makes me crazy and there's nothing I can do about it.  Because it's okay for other people to whine but not me.  Because I don't do things half way.  Because I'm the type of person who gives 110% to everything and everyone.  And because in spite of everything, I still have hope.

See?  I bet you wouldn't sleep either if you had all that going through your brain.  But then, who needs sleep?

Blog it Out

I know I've been absent.  But my life has been a little bit busy recently. (You'll understand when you read about all the Epic Adventures I've been on)

I've been trying to get my life under control.  But I think I've just decided to accept the fact that I have no control over a lot of things.  I could be going really crazy, but I'm holding it together pretty well.  Well, I'm mostly holding it together.  At the very least, I have some plans and I'm working on not having as much anxiety.

OH!  And I read an article in a magazine that says that women who have tidy homes have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol compared to those who live in clutter.  And this is according to research from UCLA.  So take that.  Cleaning really does help my stress.

Writing helps my stress too.  So I'm going to try to do more blogging.  It might just be ramblings, so you're under no obligation to read it.  But it'll be here if you need entertaining.  You know, sometimes it just helps to blog it out.

2013: The Year of Epic Adventures

I spent New Years Eve at Angie's house and we had lots of tasty food, fun games and good company.  And the chosen soundtrack for the evening?  The Lord of the Rings.  It made everything seem very Epic.  So I decided that was going to be the theme for the new year.  2013: The Year of Epic Adventures.

I've already had several.

Epic Adventure #1-

We had a roommate move out.  Lindsey and I decided not to search for another roommate.  Now we have an office/guest room/exercise room/lots more storage space.  It's been nice. In related news, the apartment stays cleaner now.

Epic Adventure #2-

I flooded the apartment.  Not the entire apartment really, just the laundry room and part of the kitchen.  Turns out that the apartment has had an ongoing problem.  But we had a pretty mild winter last year so it didn't happen.  Apparently the washer drain pipe is on an exterior wall that was not properly insulated and so in extreme (or sometimes not so extreme) freezing temperatures, the water in the pipe would freeze.  And then if you tried to do laundry and weren't paying attention because your washer had never flooded before, the water that is supposed to go down the drain backs up and comes back into the apartment, down the wall and onto the floor, spreading out into the kitchen as the gallons continue to flow.  We used the mop a lot for a few weeks as we went through a few ill-conceived "fixes" from the complex manager and handyman.  But we got smart and started to keep an eye on the washer, so we didn't have to mop as much water per incident.  Finally, they cut a big ole hole in the wall and sprayed more insulation around the pipe.  The wall is still missing, but we haven't had any more incidents.  Now if only we had a working doorbell.

Epic Adventure #3-

I took and passed my PTCB exam.   I got my certificate and can now put the letters CPhT after my name.  Yep.  I'm that cool.  Not only did I pass, but I rocked that test.

Epic Adventure #4- 

I finished my 180 extern hours.  Ugh.  180 UNPAID extern hours.  In 4 weeks.  So much unpaid work.  And they offered me a job.  Since I don't have anything else lined up, I accepted for now.  But I'm not totally thrilled about it and have a few other projects on the horizon.

Epic Adventure #5-

I went on a California Adventure Trip!  I visited a friend in Palm Desert for a couple days.  And then I got to go to Disneyland for 5 days.  And...I got an Annual Passport to Disneyland.  Check off a Bucket List Item!  AND I can guarantee many more California and Disneyland based Epic Adventures in the future.

Epic Adventure #6-

I did a self make-over this week.  New hair, new make up looks, new Wendi.  I've had a frustrating month filled with some very negative thoughts about myself.  So I thought it was time for a fresh approach to life and fresh look is always a good place to start.  I'll post some pictures later.

I don't have specifics on the next adventure, but you can be sure it will be Epic.