I used my 24th of July holiday well. I put together my 72 hour kit. It's not perfect. But it'll get me through a brief emergency. I'll probably add a few more things to it over time. But for now, I feel a little more prepared. And that's really quite a relief. Being a single woman and all, I feel an extra sense of urgency to take care of things as much as possible to avoid emergencies and catastrophes. But that's not always possible. So I also need to be prepared for such unforeseeable craziness.
My 72 hour kits puts me one step closer to being prepared. It also puts me one step closer to being done with my 30 Before I Turn 30 list. Only 13 more items to go. Phew! And the time is ticking. Hope I can make it! I'm getting a little nervous.
I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Stress and Relief
Stress. Ugh.
I hate it. But it's part of life. Honestly, it's been TOO much a part of my life for TOO long. While I do have a tendency to create stress for myself, the last few weeks (okay, like since Memorial Day), have been out of control. Pretty much we should all be grateful I didn't have to be hospitalized.
Part of it was my own fault. I let certain things spiral out of control (in my mind) and tried to ignore things that really needed to be taken care of. And of course there were the issues I created. And the things that actually needed to be dealt with on a regular basis. AND all the superfluous things that I added to my life in either an attempt to take care of some things(knowing full well they wouldn't) or to distract myself.
It all came to a head this last week. I found out I was accepted to my Pharmacy Technician Program. And you'd think that would be a happy moment or something. I just about burst into tears while reading the letter. Okay. I didn't really. But that's only because my roommate was standing there and I try really hard not to cry in front of people. Trust me, I made up for it later with a full-blown emotional breakdown; the likes of which I haven't done probably since the divorce. And it kind of continued on and off for several days. I was not a functioning human being for most of this week. And we won't talk about the weight that I lost between the stress and what my mom and I think is some kind of bug we picked up and have been "enjoying" for more than a week.
Fortunately, I have pretty great family and friends that keep me going. And I snapped out of things a few days ago. I realized that if something is stressing me out, and I don't NEED it in my life, it needs to go away. So I cleaned out a bunch of Facebook clutter, email subscriptions, simplified various other aspects of my life, and decided that if auditioning for shows was going to cause me to feel so badly about myself, then I probably shouldn't do that anymore. And I figured out that if there are things I enjoy doing, maybe I need to do them more; make more time for them. I also decided to structure my life a little more. I just do a little better with structure and knowing what my expectations are.
The reason the Pharmacy Tech thing set me off? Because I'm tired of making life decisions that A) I've kind of already made like 10 years ago or B) I shouldn't have to be making because this is not where my life should be right now. BUT I realized that for 6 years, I waited for babies to come. And I pretended I was moving on with life in the meantime, but I never really did. I didn't do anything unless I could still do it if I had kids. I didn't do anything that I might have to quit if the kids thing finally happened. And I realized I was taking the same approach to life this time around. I kept thinking, "I could go to school...but what if I meet someone and get married? What's the point in starting a program if I'm going to quit it before I'm done?" And while, mentally I try to prepare myself for the fact that I might be single for the rest of forever, part of me has a really hard time with the concept that I'm not going to get anything (marriage, kids, etc) that I was raised to want.
So I gave myself a swift kick in the butt. I took a deep breath. And then I drove up to the DATC and registered for my first Pharmacy class. I've already started on the homework(eventhough the class doesn't start until August 1st) because it's kind of a go at your own pace thing and I'm kind of crazy self-motivated when I put my mind to something.
No. It's not what I'm dying to do with my life. No. It's not what I always wanted to be when I grew up. No. It's not even something I think sounds fun.
Basically, it's something I am capable of doing, that I don't think will make me want to die a little every day I go to work. And I need to have a career where I can support myself for the rest of my life, if necessary. I love my job playing the piano, but it will only provide for me as long as Cecily needs me.
The Pharmacy thing really stressed me out because I thought it meant not getting to do what I wanted, yet again. BUT then I realized, it's not one or the other. I've worked my schedule so that, at least until my externship, I can go to school AND play at the University of Utah. Also, I'm looking to take on private students to teach. And then once I'm done with the program, I'm hoping to find maybe a part time Pharmacy Tech position so I can have a stable job AND the job I love.
I'm feeling better about this plan now. And I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of excited about being back in school and learning new stuff (this time it will be useful stuff).
And I'm trying to stay balanced mentally and not spend too much time stressing about work, school and trying to control things that are CLEARLY out of my control.
Hopefully this relief lasts more than a week.
I hate it. But it's part of life. Honestly, it's been TOO much a part of my life for TOO long. While I do have a tendency to create stress for myself, the last few weeks (okay, like since Memorial Day), have been out of control. Pretty much we should all be grateful I didn't have to be hospitalized.
Part of it was my own fault. I let certain things spiral out of control (in my mind) and tried to ignore things that really needed to be taken care of. And of course there were the issues I created. And the things that actually needed to be dealt with on a regular basis. AND all the superfluous things that I added to my life in either an attempt to take care of some things(knowing full well they wouldn't) or to distract myself.
It all came to a head this last week. I found out I was accepted to my Pharmacy Technician Program. And you'd think that would be a happy moment or something. I just about burst into tears while reading the letter. Okay. I didn't really. But that's only because my roommate was standing there and I try really hard not to cry in front of people. Trust me, I made up for it later with a full-blown emotional breakdown; the likes of which I haven't done probably since the divorce. And it kind of continued on and off for several days. I was not a functioning human being for most of this week. And we won't talk about the weight that I lost between the stress and what my mom and I think is some kind of bug we picked up and have been "enjoying" for more than a week.
Fortunately, I have pretty great family and friends that keep me going. And I snapped out of things a few days ago. I realized that if something is stressing me out, and I don't NEED it in my life, it needs to go away. So I cleaned out a bunch of Facebook clutter, email subscriptions, simplified various other aspects of my life, and decided that if auditioning for shows was going to cause me to feel so badly about myself, then I probably shouldn't do that anymore. And I figured out that if there are things I enjoy doing, maybe I need to do them more; make more time for them. I also decided to structure my life a little more. I just do a little better with structure and knowing what my expectations are.
The reason the Pharmacy Tech thing set me off? Because I'm tired of making life decisions that A) I've kind of already made like 10 years ago or B) I shouldn't have to be making because this is not where my life should be right now. BUT I realized that for 6 years, I waited for babies to come. And I pretended I was moving on with life in the meantime, but I never really did. I didn't do anything unless I could still do it if I had kids. I didn't do anything that I might have to quit if the kids thing finally happened. And I realized I was taking the same approach to life this time around. I kept thinking, "I could go to school...but what if I meet someone and get married? What's the point in starting a program if I'm going to quit it before I'm done?" And while, mentally I try to prepare myself for the fact that I might be single for the rest of forever, part of me has a really hard time with the concept that I'm not going to get anything (marriage, kids, etc) that I was raised to want.
So I gave myself a swift kick in the butt. I took a deep breath. And then I drove up to the DATC and registered for my first Pharmacy class. I've already started on the homework(eventhough the class doesn't start until August 1st) because it's kind of a go at your own pace thing and I'm kind of crazy self-motivated when I put my mind to something.
No. It's not what I'm dying to do with my life. No. It's not what I always wanted to be when I grew up. No. It's not even something I think sounds fun.
Basically, it's something I am capable of doing, that I don't think will make me want to die a little every day I go to work. And I need to have a career where I can support myself for the rest of my life, if necessary. I love my job playing the piano, but it will only provide for me as long as Cecily needs me.
The Pharmacy thing really stressed me out because I thought it meant not getting to do what I wanted, yet again. BUT then I realized, it's not one or the other. I've worked my schedule so that, at least until my externship, I can go to school AND play at the University of Utah. Also, I'm looking to take on private students to teach. And then once I'm done with the program, I'm hoping to find maybe a part time Pharmacy Tech position so I can have a stable job AND the job I love.
I'm feeling better about this plan now. And I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of excited about being back in school and learning new stuff (this time it will be useful stuff).
And I'm trying to stay balanced mentally and not spend too much time stressing about work, school and trying to control things that are CLEARLY out of my control.
Hopefully this relief lasts more than a week.
Friday, July 20, 2012
My New Nephew
I have a new baby nephew! His name is Adam. He's pretty adorable. Judge for yourself.
And in another couple weeks, I'll have a new niece! It's basically raining babies around here.
She loves her little brother...maybe a little too much.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
3 Months to the Day
3 Months from today I will turn 30 years old. I have very seriously mixed feelings about it.
Anyway, I thought an update on the 30 Before 30 list would be in order. So here you go...
30 Things to do Before I Turn 30
(In no particular order)
1. Go Camping (it's been a while since I've been and I miss it...this trip should also include fishing because I like that too)
2. Learn to Tie a Tie
3. Go ice skating(I don't think I've been since I was 12)
4. Attend a yoga class
5. Get a spray tan (I've never been tanning- fake baking or spray tanning)
6. Eat Eggs (my mom doesn't like eggs so I've never really eaten them...but I should probably at least try them before I turn 30)
7. Compose a piece of music (It's been far too long and I'm feeling inspired)
8. Visit a State I've never been to
9. Stay up all night (it's been a long time since I've pulled an all nighter...but I think I'm up to the challenge)
10. Get a massage (Never had one...but I want one)
11. Learn to swim (laugh all you want...I doggie paddle...but I mean business now)
12. Kiss in the rain (there's a lot of back story to this one and I'm not going to explain it)
13. Brush up on my French (That would be the language...in case you're confused)
14. Take a tap class (I can tap, but I've never really taken a class. I'd like to take a ballroom dance class...but it's awkward when you go to those by yourself.)
15. Be able to do the splits (I'm actually getting really close...how many 30 year olds do you know that can do the splits?)
16. Watch 5 movies everyone quotes but I've never seen (there's more than 5, but I need to start somewhere)
17. Read 5 "Classics" (Cuz I want to feel literate)
18. Make 6 new recipes (I love to cook)
19. Learn a new car-related skill (as a single woman, I really should know more than I do)
20. Learn a new handy man skill (If I knew how to fix things I wouldn't have to sit on my washer during the spin cycle...on the down side...How do I coerce guys to my house if I know how to fix things?)
21. Learn a new computer skill (I'm pretty tech savvy...but I'm a nerd)
22. Go on a spontaneous trip
23. Make a 72 hour kit (cuz, you know, I should be prepared)
24. Wear a bikini (I never have and I if I'm ever going to, shouldn't it be before I'm 30...plus I'm working out and looking pretty hot right now)
25. Memorize 2 piano pieces (I don't memorize as much anymore...and I really should)
26. Try new dishes at restaurants (I have a tendency to just order the same thing every time)
27. Do something I've been too scared to do (I don't have anything specific in mind)
28. Go to a foreign Country
29. Get a stamp in my passport (I've had one for 4 years dang it!)
30. Have the perfect kiss (thank you FRIENDS for this idea)
As you can see, I'm about half way done. I'm well on my way to completing several others. There are a few I'm not sure how I'll accomplish, but I am quite determined. And you all know what I'm like when I get determined. Just try and stand in my way.
Anyway, I thought an update on the 30 Before 30 list would be in order. So here you go...
30 Things to do Before I Turn 30
(In no particular order)
1. Go Camping (it's been a while since I've been and I miss it...this trip should also include fishing because I like that too)
3. Go ice skating(I don't think I've been since I was 12)
4. Attend a yoga class
5. Get a spray tan (I've never been tanning- fake baking or spray tanning)
7. Compose a piece of music (It's been far too long and I'm feeling inspired)
11. Learn to swim (laugh all you want...I doggie paddle...but I mean business now)
12. Kiss in the rain (there's a lot of back story to this one and I'm not going to explain it)
13. Brush up on my French (That would be the language...in case you're confused)
14. Take a tap class (I can tap, but I've never really taken a class. I'd like to take a ballroom dance class...but it's awkward when you go to those by yourself.)
15. Be able to do the splits (I'm actually getting really close...how many 30 year olds do you know that can do the splits?)
16. Watch 5 movies everyone quotes but I've never seen (there's more than 5, but I need to start somewhere)
17. Read 5 "Classics" (Cuz I want to feel literate)
19. Learn a new car-related skill (as a single woman, I really should know more than I do)
23. Make a 72 hour kit (cuz, you know, I should be prepared)
25. Memorize 2 piano pieces (I don't memorize as much anymore...and I really should)
As you can see, I'm about half way done. I'm well on my way to completing several others. There are a few I'm not sure how I'll accomplish, but I am quite determined. And you all know what I'm like when I get determined. Just try and stand in my way.
Friday, July 13, 2012
I'm a Damsel. I'm in Distress. I Can Handle it. Have a Nice Day.
So I've never really been great at the whole "Damsel in Distress" thing. I know how to take care of myself. Also, I've had a few unfortunate life experiences that have planted in my head that if you rely on people, you just get hurt. If you only count on yourself, you're good to go.
Anyway, on Tuesday, I changed phone carriers. I had been on the iPhone contract with The Ex. And then the contract ended. So a change was in order. I was pretty excited to have nearly all the ties severed (the car gets paid off in the next month and then after that title transfer, I'm DONE). I had done some research and decided I'd switch my iPhone over to T-Mobile. AT&T will now unlock iPhones so they can be taken to different networks. So that's what I did. And I set up my new month-to-month account (no 2 year contracts for me). All by myself. (technically, my mom, sister, niece and brother went to Gateway with me, but they didn't like hold my hand or anything)
After waiting 15+ hours, my phone number finally caught up with me from AT&T. As I went back to regularly scheduled programming, I quickly discovered an unforseen side-effect. The iPhone operates a little bit differently on the T-Mobile network. I couldn't send picture texts. Apparently I do this more than I thought. I found myself getting very quickly frustrated. I was in the middle of trying to accomplish other things (I've had a fairly busy week) so I did a quick google search and my brain exploded because I felt a little overwhelmed at the prospect of having to make weird technical changes to my iPhone.
I mean, I'm fairly tech-savvy. I'm definitely not an idiot. But I was just so worn out. As much as I'm good at being independent, sometimes it would be nice to have another person pick up the slack. Of course, I have several people I could have asked for help. But I always feel a little guilty because I know they're all really busy with their lives; their problems and don't have time for mine.
After going through the day being really irritated and wondering if I'd made a HUGE mistake leaving the comforting (and manipulative) arms of AT&T, just to save some money and be free of a contract, I finally settled down with Google and the InterWebs and starting sifting through all kinds of help articles and chat rooms and user manuals. I tried a couple different suggestions I found online, but to no avail. I stayed up half the night trying to find something to work.
I finally found a solution where people said it had actually worked. I gave it a go, and sure enough... SUCCESS! I can now send and receive picture texts again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty proud of myself. It's good to know that I'm capable of doing most things on my own. But I do wish I didn't have to. As much as I'm not a great Damsel in Distress, I sure wish that every once in a while, a Knight in Shining Armor would step in a at least offer to save the day.
Anyway, on Tuesday, I changed phone carriers. I had been on the iPhone contract with The Ex. And then the contract ended. So a change was in order. I was pretty excited to have nearly all the ties severed (the car gets paid off in the next month and then after that title transfer, I'm DONE). I had done some research and decided I'd switch my iPhone over to T-Mobile. AT&T will now unlock iPhones so they can be taken to different networks. So that's what I did. And I set up my new month-to-month account (no 2 year contracts for me). All by myself. (technically, my mom, sister, niece and brother went to Gateway with me, but they didn't like hold my hand or anything)
After waiting 15+ hours, my phone number finally caught up with me from AT&T. As I went back to regularly scheduled programming, I quickly discovered an unforseen side-effect. The iPhone operates a little bit differently on the T-Mobile network. I couldn't send picture texts. Apparently I do this more than I thought. I found myself getting very quickly frustrated. I was in the middle of trying to accomplish other things (I've had a fairly busy week) so I did a quick google search and my brain exploded because I felt a little overwhelmed at the prospect of having to make weird technical changes to my iPhone.
I mean, I'm fairly tech-savvy. I'm definitely not an idiot. But I was just so worn out. As much as I'm good at being independent, sometimes it would be nice to have another person pick up the slack. Of course, I have several people I could have asked for help. But I always feel a little guilty because I know they're all really busy with their lives; their problems and don't have time for mine.
After going through the day being really irritated and wondering if I'd made a HUGE mistake leaving the comforting (and manipulative) arms of AT&T, just to save some money and be free of a contract, I finally settled down with Google and the InterWebs and starting sifting through all kinds of help articles and chat rooms and user manuals. I tried a couple different suggestions I found online, but to no avail. I stayed up half the night trying to find something to work.
I finally found a solution where people said it had actually worked. I gave it a go, and sure enough... SUCCESS! I can now send and receive picture texts again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty proud of myself. It's good to know that I'm capable of doing most things on my own. But I do wish I didn't have to. As much as I'm not a great Damsel in Distress, I sure wish that every once in a while, a Knight in Shining Armor would step in a at least offer to save the day.
Road Trip 2012
Remember how I went on a Road Trip? Here's evidence...
Mount Rushmore
Capilano Bridge in Canada
Lake Sacagewea in Longview, WA
Lake Sacagewea in Longview, WA
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Legen....Wait for it....Dary
Here's how a conversation between me and my mother went yesterday morning.
Wendi: Hey mom. Let's go to Canada this week. I just have to turn in my Pharmacy Technician Application Monday morning and then we can leave.
Mom: Okay. Can we go by way of Mount Rushmore.
Wendi: Sure. Why not.
Mom: Let's go home and book hotels and plot our course.
Wendi: Awesome.
Okay, there were a few other things we had to nail out before we could be 100% sure that it was going to work. But basically within 30 minutes of initiating the conversation, we'd decided we were going on the most Epic Trip EVER!
You're all going to want to keep a close eye on the blog this week. Here's how things are going:
Monday: Drive to Keystone, SD and check in to a hotel for the night (approx 12 hours)
Tuesday: Spend the day exploring Mount Rushmore.
Wednesday: Drive to Missoula, Montana and check in to a hotel (approx 11 hours)
Thursday: Drive to Seattle (approx 8 hours) and explore Seattle before heading further north to check in to a hotel for the night.
Friday: Go to Vancouver, BC, Canada. Get a stamp in my passport (oh I'll make them stamp it), visit a foreign country and find myself a Mounty. Spend the day exploring.
Saturday: Tyler flies in to Seattle. We pick him up and make our way through his mission areas on our home Sunday.
Monday: Get home, likely in the late afternoon.
I'm taking my camera and I'm super excited to try my hand at a little Landscape Photography. I've been reading up in preparation (you know...today). And the awesome part is that I will be checking off at least 3 items on the 30 Before 30 List.
I don't know how to describe it except that it's going to be
LEGEN....Wait for it....
Wendi: Hey mom. Let's go to Canada this week. I just have to turn in my Pharmacy Technician Application Monday morning and then we can leave.
Mom: Okay. Can we go by way of Mount Rushmore.
Wendi: Sure. Why not.
Mom: Let's go home and book hotels and plot our course.
Wendi: Awesome.
Okay, there were a few other things we had to nail out before we could be 100% sure that it was going to work. But basically within 30 minutes of initiating the conversation, we'd decided we were going on the most Epic Trip EVER!
You're all going to want to keep a close eye on the blog this week. Here's how things are going:
Monday: Drive to Keystone, SD and check in to a hotel for the night (approx 12 hours)
Tuesday: Spend the day exploring Mount Rushmore.
Wednesday: Drive to Missoula, Montana and check in to a hotel (approx 11 hours)
Thursday: Drive to Seattle (approx 8 hours) and explore Seattle before heading further north to check in to a hotel for the night.
Friday: Go to Vancouver, BC, Canada. Get a stamp in my passport (oh I'll make them stamp it), visit a foreign country and find myself a Mounty. Spend the day exploring.
Saturday: Tyler flies in to Seattle. We pick him up and make our way through his mission areas on our home Sunday.
Monday: Get home, likely in the late afternoon.
I'm taking my camera and I'm super excited to try my hand at a little Landscape Photography. I've been reading up in preparation (you know...today). And the awesome part is that I will be checking off at least 3 items on the 30 Before 30 List.
I don't know how to describe it except that it's going to be
LEGEN....Wait for it....
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