Today I got to bump a kid from a solo/ensemble group. He's tone deaf and seriously throwing off the other kids. I was unaware of the issue at the time I let kids volunteer. If I'd known, I could have avoided it altogether. No worries though. I did it nicely. He's in a mixed group too. I told him that group needed him more and I needed to give other kids an opportunity. Sneaky, right? I promise he has no idea. He sings so loudly, I know he can't possibly be aware of how off pitch he is.
AND today is Parent/Teacher Conference. I've actually had quite a few parents come. I think most of them are here to hear how wonderful their kids are. Sometimes that's true. I wish more of the truly awful students would have their parents come. But at the same time, I don't particularly want to deal with grumpy parents.
But I'm here for 2 hours! And while they told me they'd "take care of it", I'm not 100% convinced I'm getting paid for this. I'm such an over achiever.
Is it 5:30 yet?
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Marriage demands work.(I think this is something that a lot of people either don't know going in or forget...I'd also like to add...it takes work on both sides. One person working their butt off isn't going to save a marriage.) A happy marriage exacts the very best of us. Yet above all, maintaining a successful marriage is a choice.(Yes. It's a choice. Once again, a choice you BOTH have to make. And unfortunately, you can't make choices for other people.)
At every opportunity, the adversary will cunningly, quickly supply us with negative responses to events and people around us, especially our spouses. After all, the breaking down of a marriage is one of his prime opportunities to inflict eternal damage on Heavenly Father’s children. But we can thwart Satan’s efforts. In the moment that the adversary suggests to us evil, unkind thoughts, we can choose not to accept them—not to respond to our spouse in an unkind, out-of-control way. We can choose instead to respond with love and charity.
As my husband and I strive to develop the celestial attributes within ourselves and the celestial potential in our marriage, we try to abide by seven gospel-centered truths that help us choose righteous responses.
1 We have a clear goal in mind.
We visualize ourselves one day standing together in the eternities as husband and wife. Whenever we encounter a challenge with regard to our children, we try to remember that the goal of building a celestial marriage and gaining eternal life is the most important, meaningful part of life together on this earth.(I can tell you that when you no longer have a common goal that you are working toward, things start going down hill.)
2 We try to remember that our Heavenly Father must be included in our partnership.
No matter how much effort we spend, without Him we will always fall short. We sustain and nourish our marriage when we pray together as husband and wife, ask for His help, and express love for one another to Him.(I often wonder if I didn't try hard enough in this area. That if I had been better before things changed then maybe I could have prevented so much. I'm not sure if it's true....it's just one of those things that nags at me.)
3 We acknowledge the reality that Satan is our enemy.
We have come to realize that we must be on constant lookout for his sabotage. There is no event or no failing he would not exploit to weaken and overcome us.(I'm really uncomfortable with how well Satan knows us and our weaknesses. He knows exactly where to plant those seeds of doubt so they'll take root and flourish.)
4 When my husband and I come to a tough moment, I choose to remember that he is my best friend.
I remind myself, “He would not purposely do anything to hurt me.”(I worry that after feeling betrayed, I won't be able to think this about anyone. Will I always be wondering when the betrayal will come?) He takes the same attitude toward me. This empowers us to be in control of our thoughts and responses, and it takes control from our enemy.
5 We remember that we are growing together toward perfection.
Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “An ideal marriage is a true partnership between two imperfect people, each striving to complement the other, to keep the commandments, and to do the will of the Lord” (“Our Sacred Duty to Honor Women,” Ensign, May 1999, 39). My husband and I try to remember that each of us is imperfect. Much of the pressure in our relationship is released when we both allow for the other’s shortcomings.(I'm far too critical. It's something I really need to work on. Like...in all my relationships.)
6 We accept the reality that differences of opinion occur, even in the best marriages.
Respecting the opinion of one’s spouse honors and builds that individual. Elder Nelson mentions “striving to complement” each other. Complement, spelled with an e, not an i, means to complete or make perfect, not to be exactly alike.(You know, I love this reminder that you don't need to be exactly alike. 2 people are not going to ALWAYS agree. And it's okay to have differing opinions as long as you don't attack each other for having differing opinions.) Two people who are not exactly alike in thought can still build a harmonious, enduring marriage. Recently, as my husband and I witnessed a temple sealing, we were reminded by the sealer’s counsel that it is more important to be loving than to be right.
7 Honest but charitable communication is essential to a solid marriage.
Dwelling on negative thoughts about a spouse or about wrongs inflicted fosters unhappiness, damages friendship, and can eventually lead to divorce. Instead, each spouse must feel safe and free to openly and honestly express thoughts and feelings.(As soon as I started to feel like I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings about what he was doing, I knew things were going from bad to worse.) My husband and I have found that the sooner our concerns are expressed to one another, the sooner harmony can be restored to our marriage.
Practicing these seven principles can help shield us from the adversary’s attacks. There are times when Satan wins a battle in the homes of married couples.(I know I was fighting a losing battle. I was fighting to save something that he didn't want saved. A successful marriage can't be fought for by one person. Both people have to be willing to fight for it. There's a lot of give and take; compromise. And when one person is giving and giving and giving and the other is doing all the taking...you can't be selfish with your spouse. When both people are concerned more about the other than about themselves, that's when things work. I mean, it's still hard. Life is hard. But when you're working hard with someone you love, and loves you back...absolutely unconditionally...it's not so bad. Right? At least in my head that seems right.) But as we align our hearts and our actions with eternal truths, we can win the war.