Monday, April 30, 2012

Heavy

So my brother, Tyler, is done with school for the semester and is taking the summer off. Obviously he has a lot of free time on his hands and needed a project. Enter Wendi and her lack of ambition when it comes to working out.

I've worked out with him before. It's always gone the same...

Wendi: hey, Tyler! I have a brilliant idea! Let's go to the gym and work out!
Tyler: That IS a brilliant idea!

At the gym..,

Tyler: Wendi, you have old lady arms. Let's fix that. How much can you bench?
Wendi: (laughs hysterically) No.
Tyler: Oh come on. We'll start with just the bar. You can handle that.
Wendi: It's heavy.
Tyler: Just try like 3 reps.
Wendi: It's heavy.(does the reps and thinks she's done)
Tyler: keep going...
Wendi: You lied! You said I only had to do 3! (as much as she fights it, she doesn't have many options and continues to lift)

Right before her arms are about to collapse, Tyler rescues the bar and sets it to rest.

Wendi: We're done now, right?
Tyler: I think you can do more. Let's add some weight to the bar.
Wendi: (pleading) It's heavy!
Tyler: You can totally do it!
Wendi: Ok. Like 3.
Tyler: Ok.

You can all see where this is going, right? After 3, Tyler makes me do more. And it's heavy.

Well, my gym pass is expired. So I decided it would be safe to let Tyler help me work out at home. However, he makes me do loads of push ups and crunches. And he bought a weight set. They're heavy.

The best part? My work out buddies.



Just so you know, I don't use the same weights as the kids. I'm not whining that the 3 pounders are too heavy.

The kids are really supportive. And they help me count my push ups, so it's a good learning experience for them too. Sometimes they do push ups too. It's pretty adorable. And when Taylor picks up a weight she says, "Heavy!"

So. Freaking. Cute.

Oh and I'm get toned too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Plan Bs

I've spent a lot of time having to come up with an alternative course of action to the initial concept. 

In other words, I spend a lot of time realizing Plan A is a bust and having to come up with Plan B.

I'm thinking that must mean that by now, I'm pretty good at it.

So here's the update.  The University of Utah doesn't want to give me Financial Aid or Scholarships.  So I've decided that I'm not going to go to school in the fall.  What's the Plan, then?

PLAN B(8,785,193)

I'm going to find a full time job for the summer.  Something that will pay me money and not make me want to kill myself.  Although, I'm pretty sure I can survive just about anything for 4 months.  Because when school starts again, I'm going to go back to the University of Utah and be an accompanist again.  And I can still sub.  And I'm considering picking up some private piano students. 

And it gets more exciting... with the money I earn from working full time this summer, I'm going to plan an epic European excursion.  After all, I still need to get a stamp in my passport.  Who wants to come?

Monday, April 16, 2012

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time, there was a young girl.  You could say she was like most girls her age.  You could say that she giggled with her girl friends.  You could say that she sat very lady-like.  You could say that she was sugar and spice and everything nice. You could say that she was average and perfectly ordinary. 

But you'd be wrong.

While jumping rope at recess could hold her attention for a little while, you were much more likely to find her playing football, basketball or soccer with the boys(it took them a little too long to realize they should treat her like the delicate flower they assumed her to be...to be honest, it was a lesson they learned the hard way MANY times over the years).  And many of her friends went home and spent hours playing video games or watching television. 

But not this girl.  Don't worry.  She didn't live in one of those homes without a television.  And she was allowed to watch it.  But quite frankly, there was something else she'd rather be doing.  Something she would choose over just about any activity, including sleep. 

She had an absolute passion for reading.  When she was in 1st grade, she read an impressive 512 books during the school year(it's true!  She has a plaque to prove it)!  And as she grew older, any time there was a reading related competition, she won quite handily. 

Rarely was she found without a book.  And while she did have her favorites, quite frankly, she would read just about anything she could get her hands on.  And she would stay up late into the night reading, oblivious to the time, except that she trained her ear for the clumsy tread of her father coming to make sure her reading lamp was off.  She learned to be quick...or read under the blankets with a flash light(is there really any wonder why she has such bad eye sight today?  Although, her night vision is incredibly impressive....almost super power level, I'd say).

Do you know why she loved all her books so much?  They transported her away.  Don't misunderstand.  Her life wasn't bad.  She had great parents and many friends.  But her imagination was perhaps a little too active for her own good(even now it gives her ideas that are far out of reach).  And she always aspired to greater, more exciting things.  When she would finally shut her book, turn off her light and close her eyes, she would be transported.  Her dreams would take her(quite vividly) away from hum-drum and into her books.  She could be anyone she wanted; go anywhere she wanted. 

Her passport doesn't show it, but she's been to Narnia, Platform 9 3/4, Galaxies far, far away, Middle Earth, Prairies, Jungles, Forests(enchanted and regular).  She doesn't have certificates, but she's proficient in Archery, Pulling a Handcart, Jedi Arts, Milking Cows, Witchcraft and Wizardry, and of course, Swordplay. 

You might wonder if all of these "adventures" led her to lead a slightly dysfunctional life.  You might wonder if she found everyday life to be disappointing, comparatively speaking.  And while she did try to control her expectations by having her imaginary adventuring end, shall we say, in a less ideal way, than the books on which they were based, she did, from time to time, wonder why reality couldn't emulate, at least a little, her books. 

In reality, she didn't find herself eagerly sought after by boys.  In fact, her tendancy to prefer hanging out with the boys(a little less drama, lets be honest), led to the boys not really seeing her as a girl, but rather as "one of the guys". 

In her everyday life, she didn't find herself needing her excellent skills with a sword.  Duelling wasn't really something you saw much of at her High School. 

In an average day, she never got to pilot a starfighter.  Rarely was she ever called upon to cast spells. 

And then she went to college and found that she had even less time for reading and that those imaginary adventures were a luxury she could not longer afford.

College textbooks occupied her time.  And the only reason her light was on into the wee hours of the morning was because she had procrastinated writing a paper. 

And life continued on.  She still read her books, but left her passion for them behind, assuming that it was just something she had to out grow.

Then, one day, she found herself with a gaping hole in her person(not literally, of course...that would be an entirely different kind of story).  She was not entirely at a loss as to how to fill it.  But it wasn't a hole that could be filled in over night.  She tried a few different things.  Some of them worked better than others.  Some needed time to expand to fill more space.  And then, in the back of her mind a light flickered on.  And she remembered. 

She remembered the places she could go.  She remembered the people she could be.  She remembered how she could leave everything behind for just a little while.  And just when she needed it the most, her passion re-ignited.  The possibilities became endless.  The hours flew by.  The emptiness began to fill. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Just So You Know, I'm Always Right

I've been hesitant to hop on the Pinterest bandwagon.  I knew that if I did, I'd spend far too many of my already precious minutes "pinning". 

Last night, I hung out with my girls, Melina and Lacee.  And they introduced me to the dark side.  And Lacee sent me the invite.  And this morning, I started pinning.  It started with just a few hairstyles.  But soon, I was looking at dozens of recipes and finding new ways to exercise. 

I suppose there are worse ways to spend a Sunday.  And with Pinterest, everything is in one easy location.  And I did find lots of recipes I want to try(too bad it SUCKS to cook for 1).  And my hair should look super cool for at least a month. 

But I was right.  Pinterest is going to become my new time-waster.

Half-Way

6 months from today, I turn 30. So technically, I should be 1/2 done with my 30 before I Turn 30 (don't remember that post? Check HERE) list. Yeah. I'm not. I've done 2 things. And no. I'm not going to tell you which ones. And I'm working on about 3 others(some of them have multiple steps). For example, I sent in my passport to get my name changed so that I can go to another country and get a stamp on my passport(which would take care of 2 items on my list).

So I thought this morning, "I can find one of those to take care of this very day"! But I need a little preparation to check off most of those. I'm thinking I could eat eggs today. But you know what? I don't actually know how to cook eggs. And I would kind of like the egg experience to not be a disaster. I was kind of hoping to come out of this with a new passion for eggs(okay, passion isn't the right word, but you know what I mean).

I guess if I put my mind to it, I could memorize 2 piano pieces today. I'm already most of the way memorized on one piece. But a 2nd one too? Let's be honest, I'm old. It's not going to happen.

Going on a spontaneous trip sounds fun. But I have little munchkins to watch tomorrow.

Anyway...so here I am, blogging, which is NOT on the list. Well, I guess it's back to look at Egg Recipes(it's not going well).

Friday, April 13, 2012

Whatever. Fine.

I realize I spend a lot of time using the word "fine". 

How are you doing? "Fine"
Are you okay? "I'm fine."
Do you want to go do __________(fill in the blank). "Whatever. That's fine."

I'm not sure how often I mean my "fine"s.  I actually think it's probably just my cop-out response.  I'm not sure if you really want to know how I'm doing.  You probably don't want the back story about what I'm actually feeling.  And quite frankly I'm not sure I care if we do __________________ (fill in the blank), so my answer seems irrelevant.

However, I think there's actually a code that would be helpful for translating various "fine" responses.  And I think this actually applies to a lot of people(especially women).  But mostly it's just some theories, musings really, my roommate and I have been discussing.

Fine can mean a lot of things.  If you ask your wife if you can do something (i.e. go golfing on her birthday...but it's okay because she has the kids for company) and she says, "Whatever. Fine."  You'd better not do it.  Trust me.  Her wrath will reign down upon you.  And you'll be confused because you thought you were getting permission.  But allow me to translate... ACTUAL WORDS: "Whatever.  Fine."  ACTUAL MEANING: "I can't believe you're even asking this question. And I'm going to be passive aggressive and pretend like I'm okay with it.  But if you go ahead and do it, you'll be sleeping on the couch for a week and I'll be giving you the cold shoulder for at least 2 weeks."

If you ask someone "Are you okay?"  And they respond, "I'm fine".  They're probably a lot less than fine.  If you ask the right questions, they might tell you what's up.  But they don't want to burden you with whatever is making them definitely not fine.  If you are guy, trying to figure out how a girl is feeling, proceed with caution.  Don't push it too hard.  But if you just let it go, assuming that she is, in fact, fine, she's going to get irritated with you.  She'll be mad that you didn't ask more questions; that you didn't act more concerned.  She won't understand why you so easily accepted her answer when she is clearly not fine.  If you wait for her to open up, she'll explode a hot mess all over you.  It won't be pretty.

When someone is asked if they want to go ________________(to a movie, to dinner, to a specific eating establishment, etc), and the answer is "Sure. That's fine."  That means, "Yes!  Thank you very much for not making me make the decision.  This is quite possibly the happiest I've ever been, but I would seem like a crazy person if I acted so enthusiastically about the prospect of going to the grocery store with you."(or whatever activity were being proposed) 

Isn't that enlightening?  Life changing really.  Well, it would be if it were used properly...and if anyone actually read my blog.  Mostly it's just me being a little bit crazy again.  Oh well.  It's my blog, I can be crazy if I want.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Drug Addled Brain

Um...just so you know, the original concept for the "Hope" post was much less depressing sounding.  I'm thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea to blog after I'd taken my cough medicine with Codine...

I'm not depressed.  Really.  I'm fine.  I promise.  Don't lose sleep worrying about me.