Whatever. Fine.

I realize I spend a lot of time using the word "fine". 

How are you doing? "Fine"
Are you okay? "I'm fine."
Do you want to go do __________(fill in the blank). "Whatever. That's fine."

I'm not sure how often I mean my "fine"s.  I actually think it's probably just my cop-out response.  I'm not sure if you really want to know how I'm doing.  You probably don't want the back story about what I'm actually feeling.  And quite frankly I'm not sure I care if we do __________________ (fill in the blank), so my answer seems irrelevant.

However, I think there's actually a code that would be helpful for translating various "fine" responses.  And I think this actually applies to a lot of people(especially women).  But mostly it's just some theories, musings really, my roommate and I have been discussing.

Fine can mean a lot of things.  If you ask your wife if you can do something (i.e. go golfing on her birthday...but it's okay because she has the kids for company) and she says, "Whatever. Fine."  You'd better not do it.  Trust me.  Her wrath will reign down upon you.  And you'll be confused because you thought you were getting permission.  But allow me to translate... ACTUAL WORDS: "Whatever.  Fine."  ACTUAL MEANING: "I can't believe you're even asking this question. And I'm going to be passive aggressive and pretend like I'm okay with it.  But if you go ahead and do it, you'll be sleeping on the couch for a week and I'll be giving you the cold shoulder for at least 2 weeks."

If you ask someone "Are you okay?"  And they respond, "I'm fine".  They're probably a lot less than fine.  If you ask the right questions, they might tell you what's up.  But they don't want to burden you with whatever is making them definitely not fine.  If you are guy, trying to figure out how a girl is feeling, proceed with caution.  Don't push it too hard.  But if you just let it go, assuming that she is, in fact, fine, she's going to get irritated with you.  She'll be mad that you didn't ask more questions; that you didn't act more concerned.  She won't understand why you so easily accepted her answer when she is clearly not fine.  If you wait for her to open up, she'll explode a hot mess all over you.  It won't be pretty.

When someone is asked if they want to go ________________(to a movie, to dinner, to a specific eating establishment, etc), and the answer is "Sure. That's fine."  That means, "Yes!  Thank you very much for not making me make the decision.  This is quite possibly the happiest I've ever been, but I would seem like a crazy person if I acted so enthusiastically about the prospect of going to the grocery store with you."(or whatever activity were being proposed) 

Isn't that enlightening?  Life changing really.  Well, it would be if it were used properly...and if anyone actually read my blog.  Mostly it's just me being a little bit crazy again.  Oh well.  It's my blog, I can be crazy if I want.