Well, you get the idea.
Let me give you a little snapshot of my day...
6:00 a.m.- Alarm goes off. I was enjoying some unusually good sleep so that was less than thrilling. But up I got and did a little early morning workout. Stretching for my Do the Splits goal (getting closer...I'd be closer still if I did my stretching consistently). Got ready for the day.
7:30 a.m.- Out the door, into the car and get some singing practicing done in the car on my way to the good old DATC. I'm pretty much the queen of multi-tasking.
8:00 a.m.- Class starts. I work through my last section of my math homework. I take my 4th test and...drumroll please... I pass with a 91%! Huzzah! This means I don't have to take the final. Soooo.
11:00 a.m. to Noon - I sit and wait in the unending line to get my next class set up. My next class is Intro to Pharmacy Technician and it's only a 15 hour class, which means I'll be done in a week. Oh yeah. Because I can only take 1 class at a time because of the MWF schedule I'm doing so that I can play at the University on Tuesdays and Thursday. Oh well. I'll still finish pretty efficiently. Unfortunately that means I continue to have the same class for 6 hours a day. Yucky.
Noon-ish- Go to the Bookstore and pick up a couple more things for the class I will be taking AFTER the Intro class. I know. I know. I'm an overachiever. But I have a long weekend because I don't have class on Friday ( I don't know why the DATC is closed Thursday and Friday, but it is) and so I want to make sure I have appropriate material to prepare. Yes. I'm that kid.
12:30 p.m.- Go to the bank. Nothing too exciting here. Just a deposit. Although, I do love putting money in the bank.
1:00 p.m. - Home. I start cleaning my room in preparation for what ends up being an out of control cleaning afternoon. You see, I came home from church yesterday to discover my roommate's mother (yes the roommate that drives me bonkers but I'm trying really hard to not get frustrated with) was staying with us and she'd brought a furry little rat with her. Okay. It was a dog. But still. It was some kind of long-haired ratty looking creature that made my eyes water just looking at it. And since A) it caught me off guard and B) I'm non-confrontational, I rushed upstairs, changed and then retreated before my allergies got worse or I killed someone/thing...or both. Anyway...because of the dog incident, I knew the house needed to be cleaned top to bottom to eliminate further allergen spreading. And since Bea had to work, Lindsey and I got right to it. She tackled the kitchen while I worked my OCD magic on the living room. I'm actually doing a lot better at the not having to have things super clean, but when it comes to the animal allergy issue, I am VERY thorough. It's either that or I suffocate. I even vacuumed the offending roommate's Dry Clean Only blanket. I didn't know what else to do and I certainly couldn't risk all the hair and dander transferring to the newly clean house. So we vacuumed and mopped and wiped and dusted the house top to bottom. And I did laundry. Then, we went to town on our bedrooms. I sorted and organized and...yeah I was on a ROLL! And all the while I did some more singing practicing. Seriously guys, my room is spotless. And I got all my laundry done.
6:00 p.m.- Yes we did 5 hours of cleaning. Dinner time for me. Lindsey and I sat down to enjoy dinner and a little Downton Abbey.
6:45 p.m.- Get ready and go to Centerpoint for rehearsal.
7:00 p.m.- 10:00 p.m.- Rehearsal We did some dancing today. I'm so excited to be in a show where I get to sing and dance...and you know, be on stage for more than 3.5 minutes. Unfortunately, I made another creeper friend. I need less stalker-like friends.
10:15 p.m.- Get home from Rehearsal. A little wind-down talk with Lindsey, pajama time, a little blogging, reload my T-Mobile monthly plan (stupid sales guy who said I couldn't do it online) and well, you're all caught up.
11:30ish p.m.- (That's about now) Go to sleep.
I mean, I should be exhausted. Aren't you just reading it all?
I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Merci Beaucoup
I once told my Ex, during one of our many discussions on his belief system those last 2 years, that I thought it was the height of hubris to believe that everything good that happens to you is your own doing.
It doesn't matter if you believe in God or any higher power, or not, it doesn't make my point any less true.
How arrogant do you really have to be to think that every good thing that happens in your life is a direct result of your basic awesomeness and has nothing to do with anything anyone else did?
I know that I absolutely would not be where I am without the support, assistance, recommendation, teaching, love, encouragement, service etc of so many others. And I'm incredibly grateful.
Which leads me to the point of this blog post. I've been thinking a lot about my various relationships, family and friends, and I've realized what is lacking in the less than stellar ones. It's really quite simple, which is probably one of the reasons that we allow it to fall by the wayside so easily and often without really noticing. It's just two simple words: Thank You.
Before you scoff and think I'm over-simplifying, stop and think about it for a minute. In your relationships that are kind of struggling...are you feeling lazy, like it needs a bit of a caffine boost or something? Do you just kind of hum-drum through whatever conversation or activity you're doing and then that's it? Does it feel a little forced even? And are you easily frustrated with that person?
Now I want you to think about what would happen if you started saying Thank You. Chances are that you think you're saying it more than you actually are. I'm telling you, these two words, that we insist our small children learn and always catch them when they don't, are the magic words that will turn relationships from tedious to tremendous.
If you start expressing your appreciation, even or rather ESPECIALLY for small and simple things, you'll notice that you'll want to do things in return and that they will also pick up on it and reciprocate. They're start expressing their gratitude and doing more acts of kindness for you. Because really, I think we all want to help each other be happy. And I know that I always feel so much more helpful and important to a person when they notice the kind and generous things I do because I want to. And then I'm more likely to want to do more to make their life easier.
Conversely, if I feel like I'm being taken for granted and my thoughtful gestures go unnoticed, well, honestly, I still continue to try to help (I totally will let myself be taken advantage of...yeah spread that around...wink wink), but I'll do it begrudgingly and be a little bitter about it. I definitely won't continue to do it in the spirit in which it should be done.
Anyway, I challenge you to give this a go. Just add a few more thank you's into your relationships and notice how much brighter and easier they are.
(Also, please note how I'm practicing my French)
It doesn't matter if you believe in God or any higher power, or not, it doesn't make my point any less true.
How arrogant do you really have to be to think that every good thing that happens in your life is a direct result of your basic awesomeness and has nothing to do with anything anyone else did?
I know that I absolutely would not be where I am without the support, assistance, recommendation, teaching, love, encouragement, service etc of so many others. And I'm incredibly grateful.
Which leads me to the point of this blog post. I've been thinking a lot about my various relationships, family and friends, and I've realized what is lacking in the less than stellar ones. It's really quite simple, which is probably one of the reasons that we allow it to fall by the wayside so easily and often without really noticing. It's just two simple words: Thank You.
Before you scoff and think I'm over-simplifying, stop and think about it for a minute. In your relationships that are kind of struggling...are you feeling lazy, like it needs a bit of a caffine boost or something? Do you just kind of hum-drum through whatever conversation or activity you're doing and then that's it? Does it feel a little forced even? And are you easily frustrated with that person?
Now I want you to think about what would happen if you started saying Thank You. Chances are that you think you're saying it more than you actually are. I'm telling you, these two words, that we insist our small children learn and always catch them when they don't, are the magic words that will turn relationships from tedious to tremendous.
If you start expressing your appreciation, even or rather ESPECIALLY for small and simple things, you'll notice that you'll want to do things in return and that they will also pick up on it and reciprocate. They're start expressing their gratitude and doing more acts of kindness for you. Because really, I think we all want to help each other be happy. And I know that I always feel so much more helpful and important to a person when they notice the kind and generous things I do because I want to. And then I'm more likely to want to do more to make their life easier.
Conversely, if I feel like I'm being taken for granted and my thoughtful gestures go unnoticed, well, honestly, I still continue to try to help (I totally will let myself be taken advantage of...yeah spread that around...wink wink), but I'll do it begrudgingly and be a little bitter about it. I definitely won't continue to do it in the spirit in which it should be done.
Anyway, I challenge you to give this a go. Just add a few more thank you's into your relationships and notice how much brighter and easier they are.
(Also, please note how I'm practicing my French)
Sunday, August 5, 2012
My Favorite Things...Yeah I've Got More
I have some new favorite things in life. And since this is my blog, and I can write whatever I want, I'm going to share them. Maybe they're not life-changing for you, but keep in mind that each of these things has changed me in some way.
#1- Pharmacy Technician School- I really like to be challenged. I like to be pushed. It's the kind of environment in which I thrive. And Pharmacy is something so different than anything I've ever pursued. But you know what? I'm good at it. That's not to say that I don't have to work at it. I do. But working hard at something doesn't bother me. Give me a challenge, please. I love a good challenge.
#2- "If Only" From The Little Mermaid, the musical- I'm working on a "Role Study" right now. When you do a Role Study, you learn all the songs that a specific character sings in the show and stuff. So I'm learning Ariel's songs from the musical. This particular song is a Quartet with Ariel, Prince Eric, Sebastian and King Triton. And I really love it. I think it's partially because I feel like I don't always have to voice I need to communicate things to people. I try to let them know in different ways, but I'm not always great at using my words. And Ariel's plea "If Only" Eric knew the things she wishes she could say, strikes home with me in so many aspects of my life. If you're unfamiliar, I suggest you find it an listen to it. Maybe it's not your cup of tea, but I love it.
#3- Truly Great Parents- I have really awesome parents. Not only are they being supportive of the fairly crazy ideas I've had this summer(last minute 80 hour road trip anyone? Impulsively going to Pharmacy School? Showing up at their house at a late hour in tears from a stress-induced breakdown?), they taught me excellent life skills that come in very handy. In order to continue doing the things that I love (music) and pay for school, I'm definitely using my budgeting skills they taught me and really appreciative of all the saving money lessons they instilled in us growing up. This means I know that, at the very least, all of my schooling can be covered by my savings. But since I'm still scheduling work at the University of Utah and anywhwere else I can squeeze it in (also thank to the parents teaching me to work my way through life), it shouldn't have to be. For that and so many things, they get to make the Favorite Things list.
#4- My New Pictures- I know I already mentioned how much I love them. But seriously. They're amazing! And I promise to share some more with you soon.
#5- Agency- My Truly Great Parents always drilled Agency and Consequences into our heads. I understand that I make choices. And when I make choices, I have consequences. Cause and Effect people. This should not be a foreign concept. What seems to be foreign for some people is that you not only have to accept the good effects, but you have to accept the bad ones too. I have absolutely no problem accepting responsbility for my actions. In fact, as you might have gathered from previous posts, I have a tendency to accept responsibility for other people's actions too. But sometimes, I forget that when I'm suffering the ill effects of something, I have a choice to make it stop. In the spirit of that, I'm taking a break from Facebook. It's app is getting deleted off my phone. And since I don't have 24/7 access to my computer, I won't be nearly as tempted to visit. I just get frustrated that whenever I'm bored, I feel like I should check facebook, like that's going to solve my boredom. It doesn't. Particularly not when I'm bored every 3 minutes, so nothing really has time to change. The new goal is no more than once a day. And I won't be posting, unless it's pictures through Instagram. I'm trying really hard not to judge people or get frustrated with people and Facebook makes those things REALLY difficult.
I think for tonight, that's all the Favorite Things I'll share. They're really in no particular order, just as they popped into my head.
Now I'm headed back to studying for what should be my final Pharmacy Math test tomorrow morning. Then I get to register for new classes. I'm pretty excited to not spend 6 hours a day working on math.
#1- Pharmacy Technician School- I really like to be challenged. I like to be pushed. It's the kind of environment in which I thrive. And Pharmacy is something so different than anything I've ever pursued. But you know what? I'm good at it. That's not to say that I don't have to work at it. I do. But working hard at something doesn't bother me. Give me a challenge, please. I love a good challenge.
#2- "If Only" From The Little Mermaid, the musical- I'm working on a "Role Study" right now. When you do a Role Study, you learn all the songs that a specific character sings in the show and stuff. So I'm learning Ariel's songs from the musical. This particular song is a Quartet with Ariel, Prince Eric, Sebastian and King Triton. And I really love it. I think it's partially because I feel like I don't always have to voice I need to communicate things to people. I try to let them know in different ways, but I'm not always great at using my words. And Ariel's plea "If Only" Eric knew the things she wishes she could say, strikes home with me in so many aspects of my life. If you're unfamiliar, I suggest you find it an listen to it. Maybe it's not your cup of tea, but I love it.
#3- Truly Great Parents- I have really awesome parents. Not only are they being supportive of the fairly crazy ideas I've had this summer(last minute 80 hour road trip anyone? Impulsively going to Pharmacy School? Showing up at their house at a late hour in tears from a stress-induced breakdown?), they taught me excellent life skills that come in very handy. In order to continue doing the things that I love (music) and pay for school, I'm definitely using my budgeting skills they taught me and really appreciative of all the saving money lessons they instilled in us growing up. This means I know that, at the very least, all of my schooling can be covered by my savings. But since I'm still scheduling work at the University of Utah and anywhwere else I can squeeze it in (also thank to the parents teaching me to work my way through life), it shouldn't have to be. For that and so many things, they get to make the Favorite Things list.
#4- My New Pictures- I know I already mentioned how much I love them. But seriously. They're amazing! And I promise to share some more with you soon.
#5- Agency- My Truly Great Parents always drilled Agency and Consequences into our heads. I understand that I make choices. And when I make choices, I have consequences. Cause and Effect people. This should not be a foreign concept. What seems to be foreign for some people is that you not only have to accept the good effects, but you have to accept the bad ones too. I have absolutely no problem accepting responsbility for my actions. In fact, as you might have gathered from previous posts, I have a tendency to accept responsibility for other people's actions too. But sometimes, I forget that when I'm suffering the ill effects of something, I have a choice to make it stop. In the spirit of that, I'm taking a break from Facebook. It's app is getting deleted off my phone. And since I don't have 24/7 access to my computer, I won't be nearly as tempted to visit. I just get frustrated that whenever I'm bored, I feel like I should check facebook, like that's going to solve my boredom. It doesn't. Particularly not when I'm bored every 3 minutes, so nothing really has time to change. The new goal is no more than once a day. And I won't be posting, unless it's pictures through Instagram. I'm trying really hard not to judge people or get frustrated with people and Facebook makes those things REALLY difficult.
I think for tonight, that's all the Favorite Things I'll share. They're really in no particular order, just as they popped into my head.
Now I'm headed back to studying for what should be my final Pharmacy Math test tomorrow morning. Then I get to register for new classes. I'm pretty excited to not spend 6 hours a day working on math.
Tolerance, Blame and Forgiveness
I've had a lot of kind of heavy topics bouncing around in my head for, well a couple months now. I think it's because as I look back on where I was a year ago, I can't help to feel a everything all over again. I know we're still a couple months out from when I actually left, but things were set in motion, like unstopable bullet train motion, in May of 2011. At least, that's about where I can trace The Point of No Return to. And everything is kind of compounded by the fact that tomorrow (August 6) would have been our 9 year anniversary.
Remembering the events of last summer, the snowball effect and the effects one man's choices had on my life and many others, has caused me a lot of angst the last few months. I've had to wrestle a lot internally and I know it has caused a lot of the stress and anxiety that I've suffered the last bit.
Pardon me while I go back in time a bit so you better understand where this post is coming from.
When I came home from the Girls Disneyland trip in May 2011, he had decided to stop wearing his garments. He never told me. But I was the one who did his laundry, so obviously I noticed. And it made me sick to my stomach. And considering the flu bug that had plagued the Disneyland trip, I had an easy excuse to him for not feeling well. I suffered fairly silently for a few weeks, but I realized quickly, that a decision was going to have to be made. A family picture, family reunion, planning for a Disney World trip and many other things were coming up.
Please understand that while I can express myself fairly effectively through the written word, confrontation face-to-face is very difficult for me. And this is particularly true with delicate topics very close to my heart. I have a tendency to cry when I feel like I'm being attacked or blamed or anything like that. So I decided to write him a letter. The thing is, I had kind of seen the signs before I left and I had left him one note for everyday I was gone on the trip, hidden through the house, telling him different reasons I loved and appreciated him, and one very vulnerable letter detailing my concerns about some of his life decisions. And then he went and did what he wanted anyway.
I wasn't sure that another letter was going to do anything, but I felt like this time, he needed to understand the new potential consequences that I was starting to see. I told him that while we hadn't to this point considered divorce, it was something we could no longer ignore as a possiblity. We had become too different and wanted very different things out of our lives and the lives of any children we might bring to family. I expressed my heartbreak at all the promises he had made me when we first got married, that he would no longer, if he continued down this path, be able to fulfill.
I found this letter on my computer in May when I was working on cleaning somethings off. When I read it, I realized how much he truly did not want to be with me. I had given him every chance to try to be with me. I had tried to be fairly tolerant of his new views and had given him plenty of time and space to explore things. But I always made it very clear that the path he was choosing was not an option for me.
From about the time I got home from California until I moved out in October, I slept downstairs on the sectional. I claimed it was because it was so much cooler downstairs and I slept better. Both of which are true. But it was more than that.
I knew from that point in June, with the letter, and his lack of enthusiasm to try to keep me, that divorce was inevitable. But it just never seemed to be the right time. And somehow I felt that if I told him the marriage would need to come to an end, I would be the one to blame. After all, I asked for it, right? At that point I couldn't think of all the chances I had given him; all the different ways I had tried to be supportive and encouraging and loving. All I could think of was that I was a horrible person for not understanding or accepting him and ultimately it was my fault the marriage couldn't work.
Even when the fateful day finally arrived, and he just let me go without much of a fight, I still felt like it was my fault. And what's worse, he allowed and encouraged that thinking in our future interactions. Somehow I was the one who ruined his life.
I went through quite the cycle. And as the days, weeks and months went by, I went back and forth between guilt for being the one to initiate the divorce, to anger over the fact that he didn't fight it but still wanted to play the victim, to anger at him for his decisions and the fact that he didn't seem to be suffering consequences while I was starting over, basically from scratch. In so many ways, where I am now, is strikingly similar to where I was 10 years ago. Except that now I'm 10 years older and that makes everything a little more complicated. PLUS, I get frustrated that I've already been through this part of life. And then I feel guilty for being angry at him.
And occassionally, I hear or read stories that make me feel like I didn't try hard enough. Or if I'd really loved him, I would have stood by him. And I even feel like some people close to me think that I shouldn't have gotten a divorce or think I'm the one to blame. I know each situation is unique and I don't for one minute think that this could have ended any other way, especially knowing what I know now. But still. Sometimes things eat at me.
But just recently, a change happened. I realized I wasn't angry. I wasn't resentful. I was just, MEH. Whatever. He made his choices. What consequences he doesn't face in this life, he will face in the next. And it is unfortunate that I am having such a hard time adjusting to this new life, or that I even have to go through this at all. But that doesn't really change anything.
I'm not sure I've reach the point where I'm ready to 100% forgive him for all the pain and heartache that he's caused me. I know I have some issues directly related to the experience that cause relationship problems and I'm sure others will crop up every once in a while; baggage I haven't predicted. But the point is, I'm getting closer to being able to forgive him.
And that's definitely a step in the right direction.
Remembering the events of last summer, the snowball effect and the effects one man's choices had on my life and many others, has caused me a lot of angst the last few months. I've had to wrestle a lot internally and I know it has caused a lot of the stress and anxiety that I've suffered the last bit.
Pardon me while I go back in time a bit so you better understand where this post is coming from.
When I came home from the Girls Disneyland trip in May 2011, he had decided to stop wearing his garments. He never told me. But I was the one who did his laundry, so obviously I noticed. And it made me sick to my stomach. And considering the flu bug that had plagued the Disneyland trip, I had an easy excuse to him for not feeling well. I suffered fairly silently for a few weeks, but I realized quickly, that a decision was going to have to be made. A family picture, family reunion, planning for a Disney World trip and many other things were coming up.
Please understand that while I can express myself fairly effectively through the written word, confrontation face-to-face is very difficult for me. And this is particularly true with delicate topics very close to my heart. I have a tendency to cry when I feel like I'm being attacked or blamed or anything like that. So I decided to write him a letter. The thing is, I had kind of seen the signs before I left and I had left him one note for everyday I was gone on the trip, hidden through the house, telling him different reasons I loved and appreciated him, and one very vulnerable letter detailing my concerns about some of his life decisions. And then he went and did what he wanted anyway.
I wasn't sure that another letter was going to do anything, but I felt like this time, he needed to understand the new potential consequences that I was starting to see. I told him that while we hadn't to this point considered divorce, it was something we could no longer ignore as a possiblity. We had become too different and wanted very different things out of our lives and the lives of any children we might bring to family. I expressed my heartbreak at all the promises he had made me when we first got married, that he would no longer, if he continued down this path, be able to fulfill.
I found this letter on my computer in May when I was working on cleaning somethings off. When I read it, I realized how much he truly did not want to be with me. I had given him every chance to try to be with me. I had tried to be fairly tolerant of his new views and had given him plenty of time and space to explore things. But I always made it very clear that the path he was choosing was not an option for me.
From about the time I got home from California until I moved out in October, I slept downstairs on the sectional. I claimed it was because it was so much cooler downstairs and I slept better. Both of which are true. But it was more than that.
I knew from that point in June, with the letter, and his lack of enthusiasm to try to keep me, that divorce was inevitable. But it just never seemed to be the right time. And somehow I felt that if I told him the marriage would need to come to an end, I would be the one to blame. After all, I asked for it, right? At that point I couldn't think of all the chances I had given him; all the different ways I had tried to be supportive and encouraging and loving. All I could think of was that I was a horrible person for not understanding or accepting him and ultimately it was my fault the marriage couldn't work.
Even when the fateful day finally arrived, and he just let me go without much of a fight, I still felt like it was my fault. And what's worse, he allowed and encouraged that thinking in our future interactions. Somehow I was the one who ruined his life.
I went through quite the cycle. And as the days, weeks and months went by, I went back and forth between guilt for being the one to initiate the divorce, to anger over the fact that he didn't fight it but still wanted to play the victim, to anger at him for his decisions and the fact that he didn't seem to be suffering consequences while I was starting over, basically from scratch. In so many ways, where I am now, is strikingly similar to where I was 10 years ago. Except that now I'm 10 years older and that makes everything a little more complicated. PLUS, I get frustrated that I've already been through this part of life. And then I feel guilty for being angry at him.
And occassionally, I hear or read stories that make me feel like I didn't try hard enough. Or if I'd really loved him, I would have stood by him. And I even feel like some people close to me think that I shouldn't have gotten a divorce or think I'm the one to blame. I know each situation is unique and I don't for one minute think that this could have ended any other way, especially knowing what I know now. But still. Sometimes things eat at me.
But just recently, a change happened. I realized I wasn't angry. I wasn't resentful. I was just, MEH. Whatever. He made his choices. What consequences he doesn't face in this life, he will face in the next. And it is unfortunate that I am having such a hard time adjusting to this new life, or that I even have to go through this at all. But that doesn't really change anything.
I'm not sure I've reach the point where I'm ready to 100% forgive him for all the pain and heartache that he's caused me. I know I have some issues directly related to the experience that cause relationship problems and I'm sure others will crop up every once in a while; baggage I haven't predicted. But the point is, I'm getting closer to being able to forgive him.
And that's definitely a step in the right direction.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Change is Good
I hope you don't get confused or lost on the blog. I've made a few changes. I hope you at least noticed...
I have to say something really quickly about the new pictures. My friend Ashley is AMAZING! And we got together a couple weeks ago and she took some pictures of me. After all, we should have documented evidence of the dark hair, yes(my mom's right when she says it's the one thing I have total control over). Anyway, she did all the pictures in the new banner and the new one that I absolutely love on the right hand side of the blog.
She did a perfect job! I'll be blogging a few more of them soon, but I've got places to go right now. But they are EPIC! Truly.
More changes on their way.
I have to say something really quickly about the new pictures. My friend Ashley is AMAZING! And we got together a couple weeks ago and she took some pictures of me. After all, we should have documented evidence of the dark hair, yes(my mom's right when she says it's the one thing I have total control over). Anyway, she did all the pictures in the new banner and the new one that I absolutely love on the right hand side of the blog.
She did a perfect job! I'll be blogging a few more of them soon, but I've got places to go right now. But they are EPIC! Truly.
More changes on their way.
My Element
I've had a lot of life changes come up recently. It's really altered my groove.
But you know what, I like it. I really thrive when I am busy. It means I have to structure and schedule myself so much better. It's hard to organize stuff when you have nothing to organize. I'm so much more productive when I have loads to do.
Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 8-3 I'm at school. Awesome. After Monday morning, I'll get to go to more than just 1 class all day and that will help my sanity. Seriously. 6 hours of math is so much! I took my 3rd test on Friday. It didn't go quite as well as my first 2 tests. I got 92%. But that still puts me on track to not have to take the final. So that's good. I'm spending a good chunk of my weekend finishing the last 3 chapters and making sure I am ready to go on that last test. And then I can go register for my next classes. I love this whole go at your own pace thing! It's really nice for people like me.
And then in the evenings I've got rehearsal for Scarlet Pimpernel. With the craziness of summer, we're not rehearsing every night yet, but it's enough to keep me entertained in the evening.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll be playing up at the University of Utah.
I've got homework I'll have to do in the in between times. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, eating.
Maybe I'll have time for fun. But it's not like I have an over active social calendar right now, as it is.
But I really excel at the whole being busy thing. And I'm just ready to feel like I have a purpose.
But you know what, I like it. I really thrive when I am busy. It means I have to structure and schedule myself so much better. It's hard to organize stuff when you have nothing to organize. I'm so much more productive when I have loads to do.
Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 8-3 I'm at school. Awesome. After Monday morning, I'll get to go to more than just 1 class all day and that will help my sanity. Seriously. 6 hours of math is so much! I took my 3rd test on Friday. It didn't go quite as well as my first 2 tests. I got 92%. But that still puts me on track to not have to take the final. So that's good. I'm spending a good chunk of my weekend finishing the last 3 chapters and making sure I am ready to go on that last test. And then I can go register for my next classes. I love this whole go at your own pace thing! It's really nice for people like me.
And then in the evenings I've got rehearsal for Scarlet Pimpernel. With the craziness of summer, we're not rehearsing every night yet, but it's enough to keep me entertained in the evening.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll be playing up at the University of Utah.
I've got homework I'll have to do in the in between times. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, eating.
Maybe I'll have time for fun. But it's not like I have an over active social calendar right now, as it is.
But I really excel at the whole being busy thing. And I'm just ready to feel like I have a purpose.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
A New Sleep Cycle
To start off this post, I should probably tell you all that I'm rehearsing for another show. Someone finally had a little too much peppermint schnapps and cast me in another show. I'm in the Ensemble of Scarlet Pimpernel at Centerpoint. I'm pretty excited, whatever the reason for my casting might be, because I actually to sing in this show...and like be on stage for more than 3 minutes...and I think you'll be able to see my face and tell it's me. Added bonus: I get to be a whore (okay, the script says "Tart", but we all know what that means)! And you know I love taking as many of those whoring opportunities as I can.
A side effect of this show (and a few others things) is that I'm on a completely different sleep cycle now. It's the Show Sleep Cycle. I get home from rehearsal at like 10:05ish at think I should get ready for bed and fall asleep. WRONG! I'm all wound up from rehearsal. My brain is going a million miles an hour and I can't get it to turn off!
And so you're getting this lovely and quite random post.
Today, I started my first day of my first class of Pharmacy Technician training. It's Pharmacy Technician Math. I got my book early and did the first 5 chapters so I would be prepared to take a test today. You see, it's set up so that you can move as quickly as you and finish the class early, just so long as you at least finish by the "End Date". Technicially my end date is in like 3 weeks. I probably won't require much past this week. I managed to take 2 tests today and scored 100% on both of them. Yes. I am that awesome. I'm really aiming to do well on all 4 tests because if I get at least 90% on all 4 tests, I don't have to take the Comprehensive Final. And I think that's brilliant! I've got another chapter and a half before test number three and then 3 chapters for test number four. I think Test number 3 is going to be the hardest. But I'm hoping to be able to finish up both tests on Friday and be done with the class. That way I can move on to my other Pharmacy classes. This one was kind of a pre-requisite to the rest of the stuff. I understand why, but since I don't have other pre-reqs to finish, I'm stuck in this class MWF (so I can play the piano T/TH) from 8-11 and 12-3. For those who struggle with math, that's 6 hours each day. 6 hours of math. Yup. By hour 5, my eyes were burning and I had a blister on my right ring finger (because I don't hold a pencil "correctly") because I haven't had to write this much for a LOOONG time. AND my neck and shoulders hurt like the dickens from all the hunching over doing my homework so intensely and over-zealously. I'm definitely looking forward to taking 2 classes at a time.
So remember back when I was subbing the 8th grade boys and they all wanted to stalk me on Facebook so I had to go all covert with my privacy settings? Well, I've actually been back and forth over the last week or so about changing those. Right now, I'm unsearchable. Unless you find me through a mutual friend, it's next to impossible to track me down and try to "friend" me. I find myself pretty grateful that I haven't changed those. Let's just say there may be a stalking incident in my future and at least I know I'm sort of okay on Facebook. On that note, I'm going to be laying low for a bit on the Facebook so as not to attract attention and allow creepers to find me. I know I have the power to "Ignore" friend requests, but it's a bit of a delicate situation and until I figure out how exactly to handle it (body guard, boyfriend...a big imposing one...now accepting applications), it's best to just limit the possibilities.
Besides, cutting down on the Facebook will be healthy for me. I've been a bit (HA!) stressed lately. And so I've been working on trimming the fat, so to speak. If it's not something I even moderately enjoy, if it's making me want to punch people in face, if it is just taking up precious time without producing anything positive in my life, it's GONE. I won't list all the things I've eliminated in the last week, but it's LENGTH-Y! And yes. I feel better already. I'm just going to start getting CRAZY busy and I want to make sure I can maintain a balance and some semblance of sanity. I'm going to be going to school, playing at the University of Utah, and rehearsing the show. Plus there's all the normal person things to fit in, seeing my nieces and eating.
When I put in my contacts in the morning, I sing "I can see clearly now the rain is gone". Every morning. It's usually just in my head. When I switch to fresh contacts, I usually sing out loud.
Have I mentioned how much I love my piano talent? I love it. I got to use it at rehearsal last night to help out. And then I went to rehearsal with the manly men tonight to play as well. I get really frustrated with myself sometimes because I feel like I should be better. Sometimes when I play, I KNOW I should be better. And that's the worst kind of frustrating. I also hate that no matter how confident other people are in my abilities, I always feel incredibly inferior to so many people. This doesn't just go for playing the paino, unfortunately. I get really frustrated when I realize how absolutely average I am in a group of very talented people.
I'm trying really hard to be more tolerant of my one roommate. And the limits have been pushed SEVERAL times. But I'm not writing this post from a prison cell, so I guess we'll call it success.
I can't believe how quickly the last year has past. I'm in such a different place that I was a year ago. It kind of boggles my mind. In some ways I can't believe it's only been a year; in others, it's hard to realize it's already been a year. It's been such a rollercoaster. And such an adventure in ways I would never have imagined (I mean Pharmacy Tech...really?!). But I wouldn't change a thing.
Except that I wish I were sleeping right now. I guess I should get off the internets and give it a try again.
Oh, and come see me in The Scarlet Pimpernel. Monday, Wednesday, Friday cast. And apparently we're selling tickets pretty quickly, so get on it! And yes, I'm even doing the show on my birthday. It will be a nice distraction from the big 30. Don't tell my cast. Remember how I'm cancelling my birthday this year? Except the presents. I want the presents. :)
A side effect of this show (and a few others things) is that I'm on a completely different sleep cycle now. It's the Show Sleep Cycle. I get home from rehearsal at like 10:05ish at think I should get ready for bed and fall asleep. WRONG! I'm all wound up from rehearsal. My brain is going a million miles an hour and I can't get it to turn off!
And so you're getting this lovely and quite random post.
Today, I started my first day of my first class of Pharmacy Technician training. It's Pharmacy Technician Math. I got my book early and did the first 5 chapters so I would be prepared to take a test today. You see, it's set up so that you can move as quickly as you and finish the class early, just so long as you at least finish by the "End Date". Technicially my end date is in like 3 weeks. I probably won't require much past this week. I managed to take 2 tests today and scored 100% on both of them. Yes. I am that awesome. I'm really aiming to do well on all 4 tests because if I get at least 90% on all 4 tests, I don't have to take the Comprehensive Final. And I think that's brilliant! I've got another chapter and a half before test number three and then 3 chapters for test number four. I think Test number 3 is going to be the hardest. But I'm hoping to be able to finish up both tests on Friday and be done with the class. That way I can move on to my other Pharmacy classes. This one was kind of a pre-requisite to the rest of the stuff. I understand why, but since I don't have other pre-reqs to finish, I'm stuck in this class MWF (so I can play the piano T/TH) from 8-11 and 12-3. For those who struggle with math, that's 6 hours each day. 6 hours of math. Yup. By hour 5, my eyes were burning and I had a blister on my right ring finger (because I don't hold a pencil "correctly") because I haven't had to write this much for a LOOONG time. AND my neck and shoulders hurt like the dickens from all the hunching over doing my homework so intensely and over-zealously. I'm definitely looking forward to taking 2 classes at a time.
So remember back when I was subbing the 8th grade boys and they all wanted to stalk me on Facebook so I had to go all covert with my privacy settings? Well, I've actually been back and forth over the last week or so about changing those. Right now, I'm unsearchable. Unless you find me through a mutual friend, it's next to impossible to track me down and try to "friend" me. I find myself pretty grateful that I haven't changed those. Let's just say there may be a stalking incident in my future and at least I know I'm sort of okay on Facebook. On that note, I'm going to be laying low for a bit on the Facebook so as not to attract attention and allow creepers to find me. I know I have the power to "Ignore" friend requests, but it's a bit of a delicate situation and until I figure out how exactly to handle it (body guard, boyfriend...a big imposing one...now accepting applications), it's best to just limit the possibilities.
Besides, cutting down on the Facebook will be healthy for me. I've been a bit (HA!) stressed lately. And so I've been working on trimming the fat, so to speak. If it's not something I even moderately enjoy, if it's making me want to punch people in face, if it is just taking up precious time without producing anything positive in my life, it's GONE. I won't list all the things I've eliminated in the last week, but it's LENGTH-Y! And yes. I feel better already. I'm just going to start getting CRAZY busy and I want to make sure I can maintain a balance and some semblance of sanity. I'm going to be going to school, playing at the University of Utah, and rehearsing the show. Plus there's all the normal person things to fit in, seeing my nieces and eating.
When I put in my contacts in the morning, I sing "I can see clearly now the rain is gone". Every morning. It's usually just in my head. When I switch to fresh contacts, I usually sing out loud.
Have I mentioned how much I love my piano talent? I love it. I got to use it at rehearsal last night to help out. And then I went to rehearsal with the manly men tonight to play as well. I get really frustrated with myself sometimes because I feel like I should be better. Sometimes when I play, I KNOW I should be better. And that's the worst kind of frustrating. I also hate that no matter how confident other people are in my abilities, I always feel incredibly inferior to so many people. This doesn't just go for playing the paino, unfortunately. I get really frustrated when I realize how absolutely average I am in a group of very talented people.
I'm trying really hard to be more tolerant of my one roommate. And the limits have been pushed SEVERAL times. But I'm not writing this post from a prison cell, so I guess we'll call it success.
I can't believe how quickly the last year has past. I'm in such a different place that I was a year ago. It kind of boggles my mind. In some ways I can't believe it's only been a year; in others, it's hard to realize it's already been a year. It's been such a rollercoaster. And such an adventure in ways I would never have imagined (I mean Pharmacy Tech...really?!). But I wouldn't change a thing.
Except that I wish I were sleeping right now. I guess I should get off the internets and give it a try again.
Oh, and come see me in The Scarlet Pimpernel. Monday, Wednesday, Friday cast. And apparently we're selling tickets pretty quickly, so get on it! And yes, I'm even doing the show on my birthday. It will be a nice distraction from the big 30. Don't tell my cast. Remember how I'm cancelling my birthday this year? Except the presents. I want the presents. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)