Gratitude Day 49

I'm grateful for my brain. Oh ok. That sounded even weirder out loud than it did in my head. Excellent. Let me explain.

As I'm sure you "regular" readers (I flatter myself to think I have them, I'm sure) have discovered, my brain works incredibly fast. This is great when I'm writing. Less great when I want to speak. It's the reason I don't comment often in church. I have a stroke of brilliance and then it's gone and I sit and try to reformulate...by then I've had 6 more thoughts and we've moved on to a different topic. It's the reason I'm not great with idle chit chat. My brain gets ahead of me.

But, my brain does really great things too. It's very methodical. It's efficient though. So what it would take some people a loooong time to think through, I can do in a relatively short period. And I do so thoroughly.

I didn't take the decision to start my life over easily. It's one that took months and months. Honestly, it took longer than it should have mostly because I was so worried about what kind of person it would make me. I was worried about what other people would think. I was worried about hurting him. The funny thing is, when I thought about a new life, I knew I would be ok. I have great family and friends. I have a lot of things that keep me busy. I'm smart. I'm not too hard on the eyes. I'm mostly a nice person(just don't be stupid and I won't have to punch you in the face or run you over with my car). I wasn't worried about finding my place and moving on with life. I was(and still am) worried for him. And the more I thought about it, the more I worried. Eventually I got to a breaking point that forced my hand. But since I had a brain that works in over time, when I realized it was time to act, I could because I'd already thought things though. I already had a plan(yes I'm one of those crazy people who always has a plan...I've just learned to be much more flexible because things rarely go according to my plans).

My brain is pretty sure this post makes zero sense. I should probably stop before you all decide to send me to the loony bin.

So I'm grateful for the way my brain works. I'm grateful it's speedy and flexible(mostly). I just wish that what came out of my mouth sometimes was as brilliant as what my brain thinks.


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