Shall We Be Random? Yes, Yes, I Think We Shall.

Kelly Clarkson is trying to convince you that "What doesn't kill you makes you Stronger."  But I propose there's another option "What doesn't kill you makes you more vulnerable to the next attack."

Making Cinnamon Rolls at 10:00 at night is rarely a good idea.  Making Cinnamon Rolls at 10:00 at night and realizing you don't have a rolling pin...even worse.  THEN you get the "brilliant" idea to use one of those big church cannery cans.  And it's extra moist out because of the humidity...blah!  AND you have the stroke of genius to make your cinnamon rolls in cupcake papers and pans so they're easier to transport and eat at rehearsal tomorrow.  It was a HOT MESS in my kitchen (although, still less of a mess than anytime that certain roommate bakes) tonight.  My Cast-mates had better appreciate and love these cinnamon rolls!

Making Cinnamon Rolls at 10:00 at night is still a better idea than putting together your new desk at 10:00 at night.  That one will have to wait until tomorrow.

Most of the time, I can convince myself that I can survive the next 50+ years (probably closer to 60+ years considering the awesome genes in the family) without a husband.  I mean, really, a lot of things are pretty much the same.  I still take care of the budget and the bills, there's just less to work with...on both ends, so that's good.  I still cook and clean.  I still do laundry.  I still grocery shop.  I still shop on sale.  I still do a lot of the things I did before.  But I don't have to share a bed and listen to anyone snore.  And I don't have to check in with anyone before I make plans.  I don't have to accomodate another person with my cooking.  I don't have to deal with in-laws.  However, I do have to be the bread-winner.  I don't mind working, especially since I know it's a necessity.  I don't have anyone else to rely on or lean on in times of crisis.  I don't have anyone to pick up the slack when I get really stressed out.  I don't have anyone to sit and help me put furniture together or make cinnamon rolls with at 10:00 at night. 

I just killed the third giant spider of the day.  It is NOT okay.  I can deal with the occassional creepy-crawly in the house.  But 3 GIANT ones in a single day?  I might not sleep tonight.  Is it inappropriate to pray for a spider incident-free night?  And I'll definitely be spraying the house with bug spray tomorrow.  Apparently with the draught, we should all be expecting to see more of the precious little darlings.  *shudder*

Jaw tension is the bane of my existence right now.  Apparently, with all the stress of the last couple years, I've been clenching my jaw while I sleep AND now that I'm aware of the problem, I catch myself doing it during the day too.  And it is wreaking havoc with my singing.  Now that I've caught on to the problem, I'm working to solve it.  But it is HARD work!  I wake up every morning and do jaw wiggling and loosening exercises.  I look like a crazy person.  And as I drive around singing, I make sure I'm keeping my jaw loose and if it starts to lock up, I sing while wiggling my jaw and sometimes my neck and shoulders.  I probably look like I'm have a seizure.  And I do my warm ups while wiggling my jaw.  And if I catch myself clenching during the day, I wiggle my jaw.  On the bright side, it seems to be helping.  Now I just have to do it so much that it retrains my body and mind not to clench my jaw. 

I am exhausted beyond description right now.  And I really just want to go to sleep.  But now that I just killed a giant spider in my room, I keep looking for more.  It might be safer if I sleep in my car.  They look like man-eating spiders.  I don't know where they're coming from, but they better go to sleep outside.  And tomorrow I'll take care of spraying all doors and windows etc so that they don't feel welcome.  If I make it to tomorrow....