You know those really long grocery store lines? Yup, like the ones at Walmart. There are 800 people in the store and 3 checkers. Plus, you managed to pick (once again) the checker who clearly was dropped on their head as a child...or can't stop jabbering about crap...or found the person who needs to price check every single thing in the cart.
And time seems to stop. And there you are; standing with your package of pens, tortilla chips, Lysol and feminine hyhgeine products, wondering if any of these items are really necessities. Unfortunately, one of them is(tortilla chips, obvously). Besides, you think the line is going to really start cruzing here any second...
...Any second now...
...Oh that lady doesn't have very many things in her basket...oh...searching for coupons...of course...
...Any second now...
...I should have grabbed milk while I was here...
...It probably would have expired while I stand in line...
...Any second now...
Sometimes, I feel like that's how my life is. I tried to gather up the things I want from the Life Choices aisle and then I got in line. The wrong line. And now, the lady behind me wants to be best friends and discuss why I grabbed "History Degree". What? How did that happen? Oh that's right...I thought it was a good back up...and my arms got tired trying to hold that piano degree...this line is seriously so long! Besides, I didn't really think I'd need it. Who really uses those anyway?
Since it seems I have all the time in the world, I look back over the items in my cart. I got my degree. Technically, I got married....I just didn't realize someone would decide to go back and put that option back on the shelf. So, divorce ended up in the cart as well. Awesome.
As I've stood in the never-ending-line, I've gone past some of those temptation stands. You know, the grocery store's last-ditch attempt to make you impulse shop? I picked me up some roommates. They're not too shabby. Not really what I thought I would be putting in my cart at age 29, but still, lovely girls. I've tossed in a few part time/odds and ends jobs too. I really love them. They're nice and shiney. But I'm just not sure if they're built to last.
So I start to panic, and begin shoving all kinds of crazy things into my cart. Maybe I'll want another degree. More school sounds fun(okay, I actually think more school DOES sound fun...but only in particular subjects)! I sift through the "career" options and I'm just not loving this particular bin. I hold out hoping that something better will come up before it's my turn at the check stand. But in goes "Hair Color Change"(my grandmother will love that) and "Nervous Breakdown"(they were on sale, so I got a whole bunch of those). I pass up "Cat Lady" and "Dog Lover" because of my allergies...and I hate living things.
I go past the "Emotional Baggage" Bin and somehow "Trust Issues", "Inferiority Complex" and "Turns Guys Gay" managed to jump in. And they make quick friends with "Emotionally Unavailable" and "Control Freak".
I keep thinking that any minute I'm going to get to the check stand and be able to get the things I want and go home. I mean, would it be so awful if I ended up with a "Happily Ever After". I mean, I've searched high and low along the way, and haven't seen one...but I'm determined they exist. I hear the people in the next line over talking and they....oh yup. They just got to check out. Congratulations! You got your happy ending. Now what? Oh, you're going to Disneyland? Of course you are! (By the way...what aisle did you find Disneyland on? I'm a gonna need several!) Wait? Is that a BABY? You got a baby too? Really? How am I missing all these items?!
Oh. I bet they save the really good stuff for right at the check out stand. Okay. I just have to wait a little bit longer to get what I want. I can see the brightly colored packaging right next to the gum(cuz you always need gum in life). That's where the good stuff is. I just need to wait a little longer.
Wait! I think the line is starting to move...
....Any second now...
EXCUSE ME! Did you just cut in line?!? And the checker just went on break...
Awesome. Don't mind me. I'm just patiently waiting my turn...
You are a great writer, Wendi!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll tell you what Paul told me at one of the lowest and darkest points in my life and it is now something I hold on fast to when life gets hard: "the future is so incredible, you just don't have the eyes to see it right now." I know that's true for you as well.